Separation at Graduation

Separation at Graduation

Tips to Help Parents and Children whose Families Announce a Divorce at Graduation

For some families, celebrations will be dampened by the news that their parents are separating at graduation. Here are some guidelines to ease the transition for parents and children who are facing separation at graduation:

Tips for Parents who Announce a Divorce at Graduation:

  • Don’t tell kids you stayed together only for them. They will bear a heavy burden of guilt for it.
  • Plan the process of separating as much as possible, taking into account the needs of the entire family.
  • Reconsider your timing.
  • Can you wait until the graduation celebration passes? Announcing a separation or divorce at this important time will mark the period in your child’s life.
  • Don’t diminish the excitement of graduation for your kids by injecting your personal problems into the mix.
  • Don’t use your child as a negotiating pawn in your separation or divorce.
  • Take your child’s needs into account as you separate or divorce.
  • Will he or she adjust to this news of your separation or divorce better while they area away at college, or while at home during the summer?
  • Be as open and truthful about your separation or divorce as is appropriate for an adult child.

Tips for Children whose Families Announce a Divorce at Graduation:

  • Remind yourself that your parents’ decision to separate or divorce is not your fault.
  • Your parents’ business is their own.
  • Don’t feel responsible for helping your parents through their separation or divorce.
  • You have a right to be upset if your parents have decided to separate or divorce.
  • If you are having trouble adjusting to the news that your parents are separating or getting a divorce, talk about it.
  • Focus on your accomplishments at this time of year.
  • Don’t let this diminish your own pride in what you have achieved.
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