Raising the Kid You Love with the Ex You Hate
A Must-Read for Divorcing Parents
Clinical child psychologist Edward Farber, PhD wrote a powerful new book with a compelling title, Raising the Kid You Love with the Ex You Hate. That’s the formidable challenge and that’s just what Dr. Farber’s no-nonsense advice helps parents do following a divorce.
The book discusses the complexities of co-parenting as well as why your child will benefit from the efforts you make in that direction. He addresses the important subject of how, what, and what not to tell your children about the divorce and about related family issues once the co-parenting process has begun.
Extremely important is his discussion of the nitty-gritty day-to-day realities of shared parenting when the divorce is behind you. He covers how to cope with the adjustments, handle school-related issues, health, discipline and the multitude of decisions that need to be made while raising any children.
Holidays and special occasions get additional attention because they are often the source of conflict which can be avoided by planning and skilled communication. So Dr. Farber spends a good deal of time focused on ways to communicate more effectively with your former spouse on behalf of everyone in the family.
Children acting out and other behavior problems following divorce are also addressed with keen insight on how kids can coerce, control or manipulate parents when they know they have the power. And Dr. Farber provides valuable advice about when co-parenting is not in the best interest of your family or when it’s time to bring in professional support for issues too big to handle by yourself.
Dr. Farber shares compelling real stories based on his years of practice followed by strategies and solid advice for overcoming obstacles and facing challenges realistically. Parents who read and take to heart the messages in his book will find the path to co-parenting success will not be as treacherous as they might have expected. I will happily recommend this guide to my own coaching clients as well as all those participating in the Child-Centered Divorce Network for parents.