Marriage has its ups and downs, but when you exchanged vows, you made a promise to stand by each other for better or for worse. So is cheating a good reason to leave? Consider the following statistics:
There’s no denying that relationships can be hard sometimes, and having to put your trust in someone you love deeply can be intimidating. A lot can go wrong when two people fully depend on each other the way married couples do. Marriage is not the fairy tale that it’s made up to be, and it often times leaves people disappointed. So what are some of the reasons a marital relationship can become strained?
There can be a lot of pressure within a marriage.
There is a common misconception that spouses often have: they want a partner who is perfect and can make their life happy. However, each human being is different, unique, and flawed. A partner’s job is not to make another person happy, although there are ways that they can add to one’s happiness. It is each individual’s job as a human being to make themselves happy.
We tend to fall in love with people who have different personalities than ours.
For example, I’m an Aquarius, and my husband is a Leo. You can only imagine the complications we face. Fighting through our differences may be hard, but it makes us closer once we work them out. However, if there isn’t proper communication, the marital foundation you may have tried so hard to build in the beginning may soon begin to crumble. If you think of it that way, it’s easy to see how some slip-ups can happen.
The statistics about infidelity may surprise you.
According to statisticbrain.com, 41 percent of marriages have at least one cheating partner. There is no type of marriage that is untouched by cheating, even happy ones. In fact, an astounding 56 percent of husbands who cheat say they are happy in their marriage.
Additionally, there has become a level playing field between the sexes when it comes to cheating. As women are becoming more financially independent, they are also more likely to cheat as well. A recent study revealed a startling 68 percent of women would have an affair if they knew their spouse would never find out.
The truth is, happiness in marriage does not inoculate a person from infidelity. In actuality, people love being married. According to For Your Marriage, people are reported to be happier when they are married versus when they are not. So, why is it that 44.8 percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce?
Shame may be damaging to a relationship.
Many times, cheating occurs because of lack of communication and/or shame in the relationship. Someone who cheats may have desires they are ashamed of, and they might feel that these desires could cause turmoil in their relationship. So, instead of introducing those desires to a spouse, they may find another person to experiment with. This secret may keep the peace within the marriage — at least until the cheating spouse is caught.
Spending more time at work may also hurt a marriage.
It also doesn’t help that people spend more time with their coworkers than their spouse. Many places of employment require their employees to work long hours away from home. A spouse may feel guilty that they have to work so often in order to help provide for the family. They may spend a long time at work and begin talking to a coworker to make work life more pleasant. In these situations, a spouse may begin to feel ashamed but excited about the close bond they have with their work partner, and sometimes, an affair can happen.
This type of situation is more common than people are willing to admit. In a recent study by Trustify, 36 percent of people admit to having an affair with a coworker, and 35 percent of people admit to cheating while on a business trip. After all, work tends to be a top priority nowadays, and if someone is miserable at work, this may cause them to seek some semblance of happiness in their work life by having an affair.
Don’t be afraid to seek help.
If you have found yourself feeling crushed by your partner’s infidelity, you may want to seek counseling from an unbiased, educated source. This will often help you communicate during such a difficult time. In terms of infidelity, there is no right answer as to how the situation should be handled. Each relationship, each misdeed, and each person is unique. What may be forgivable — or what counts as cheating — is different to each of us and every relationship. This is something that should be openly discussed before the both of you say “I do.” If you are married but haven’t talked about sexual boundaries, do so as soon as it is possible.
Remember: if you want to fight for your marriage, keep the lines of communication open. It is unfortunate that society tells us to hold back our feelings. If you allow your partner to be 100 percent honest and open with you about everything, not only will they feel better about themselves, but they will feel closer to you.
About the Author: Holly Marsh is a marketing manager and writer. Her love for relationships and technology has brought Holly to where she is today. View the blog posts Holly has written by visiting www.nationalcellulardirectory.com.