Are You Making It Too Complicated? Time To Simplify
I recently asked someone what the secret to her 35 years of marriage. She simply said: “Respect.” She went on to say that he has his space, she has hers, he doesn’t fool around, he works and he’s not a drinker.
Wow,” I thought, “Is it that simple?” Here I am complicating things, wanting to meet someone who is complete on his own, that doesn’t have any baggage, any issues, a good relationship with his ex-wife and children and is financially secure. I want a man who’s ready to settle down and have a relationship with me, someone he hardly knows.
Talk about complicated. Yes, as I’m rereading this, it sounds like I’m complicating it.
As a single person, I’ve met many men that have turned my crank and yet there was something about them — I either couldn’t tolerate them or I couldn’t see myself with them. Those I didn’t keep around for long. In some cases, my head was saying “Stay away.” Or “You could do better than him.” Meanwhile, my heart and spirit were falling for them. Some men had similar values, backgrounds and lifestyles and others were completely different.
What makes it right? Who determines who best suits you? I do. You do. Who else is it going to be?
If my gut, my heart, and my head are battling one another, I have to stop and consider where it’s coming from. My expectations, my standards, my beliefs, my wants and desires, my, my, my.
If I keep going and set my standards too high I will never settle down with someone. I’m not saying that I have to lower my standards to those of a pea, what I’m saying is that I’ll have to reevaluate which standards I’m willing to part with and which ones I can’t. Every now and then, I must admit: I miss intimacy. I miss affection. I miss the company of a man.
But I’ll continue to focus my energies on my work, myself, my friends and family and keep doing the best I can. I’ll take it a day at a time.
