If you have children with your ex, don’t let them be the messengers of the news. Give your ex the courtesy of telling him or her directly, so no one is forced to deal with emotions in front of the children. If you let your ex know first in private, they will have some time to work through their feelings and prepare for the kid’s reactions. Both of you should be ready to answer any questions they may have.
Your ex and you shared a portion of your lives together and that deserves respect. Sometimes a pending second marriage may bring up feelings of finality about the end of your time together, even if you’ve been apart for awhile. Take some time to share some gratitude with your ex about the time you did spend together. You might even want to say thanks for some of the things you learned in your first marriage that you will take with you into your next.
If you and your ex still struggle with communication, it may feel safer for you to take these steps in writing, and if that is the case you can send an email to your ex spouse. Whether you let your ex know in writing, over the phone, or in person, feel free to keep it as short or as long as you need it to be. Just be sure you do it. Silence is the most hurtful form of communication, and having your ex find out about your remarriage plans through your kids or social media is disrespectful to them and chicken on your part. So find the courage and speak up.
