Head vs. Heart
Recently, on the Wevorce blog, we opened up a conversation about Divorce Archetype™ profiles and offered a preview of groundbreaking research we’ve compiled over recent years. This post continues our series: Divorce Archetype™ Profiles Uncovered. Today, we explore the Head vs. Heart profiles.
Head
When it is time to problem-solve, you move straight to making a pros and cons list. You enjoy finding research to support your position. You love digging into statistics and data to help you organize your thoughts on how best to approach an issue. You feel and process emotions, you just don’t reveal them for all to see.
Heart
When your Archetype profile is Heart, you make decisions based on how you feel and how your actions impact others. When you’re problem-solving, you like to talk through issues with those involved. You tend to rely more on emotions than what’s “right” and your body language expresses this depth of emotion. In other words, you wear your heart on your sleeve.
Everyday Life
In general, we all are somewhat familiar with the concept of head- or heart-based personalities. Our culture is filled with references and words that point to one or the other; level-headed, heart-break, off the top of your head, from the bottom of your heart, use your head, take to heart, cold-hearted, heartfelt, heartless, and the list goes on.
Heart-based people tend to be more emotional and base decisions on what they feel, following their gut rather than their head. On the flip-side, while more agreeable, they often react adversely to stress, making it hard to make rational decisions in the moment. Head-based people have less emotional fallout when stressed and rely more on reason and logic than feelings or gut reactions. However, head-based people might come off as being a bit more cold and isolated in a social setting compared to those of the heart-based persuasion.
While logic rules the head, intuition rules the heart. Yet, when it comes to making the right choices in life, sometimes it’s best to hit pause and take time to listen to both your head and your heart before making that decision. It might be easier to go with the heart’s desire, but there are times when what is best for you may be the harder choice to make.
Head and Heart in Divorce
When it comes to navigating divorce as a Heart profile, feel your true feelings as acutely as you desire but know that tempering emotions will increase your chances of reaching an amicable settlement.
While as a Head profile, you may feel more comfortable keeping your emotions in check, a little open, heartfelt communication during a divorce can be worthwhile. Honoring your spouse’s feelings, whether Head or Heart, will go a long way when it comes to reaching a mutually agreeable divorce settlement.
Whatever Archetype profiles fit you and your spouse, by understanding how and why you each think and feel as you do can help you navigate divorce successfully, achieving an end that benefits your family in the best possible way.
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Divorce Archetype profiles in review:
Initiator vs. Reactor (Influencers)
Every divorce will have an Initiator (one who has reached their breaking point) and Reactor (one who isn’t ready to face it). The only variant may be when an additional archetypal layer is added by an affair, during which delicate emotions may seem to be wrapped in barbed wire.
Dependents
The Dependent is rather self-explanatory; if you had children, or adopted children during your marriage and they are still legally in your care, you fall under this profile.
Happily Even After vs. Solo
The Happily Even After profiles describe couples who want to work together to keep divorce amicable. The couples who can’t agree on whether or not to get a divorce, or the terms of a divorce fall under the Solo profile.
Traffic Lights
The Traffic Lights profiles correspond with literal traffic lights and signify the readiness of each spouse during the divorce process. These profiles are as follows: Red Light (also referred to as Positional), Honeystuck, and Green Light. When the Positional/Red Light profile is involved, couples are often unable to agree on most things. In the Honeystuck profile, a spouse may have days when he or she feels ready to move forward — and days when divorce seems impossible to face. Variations of this profile include Gas and Break, Parent/Child, and Driverless. The Green Light profile describes couples that have been wrestling with the decision to divorce for a while, but are now ready to part ways and move on to the next chapter of their lives.
Money Manager vs. Non-Money Manager
The Money Manager profile describes the spouse who handles the finances during marriage. The Non-Money Manager often has not participated in these activities, and may have little to no access to financial account information.
Income Earner vs. Income Supporter
The Income Earner often makes enough money to support the entire family, and this person may be referred to as the sole breadwinner. While an Income Earner may work hard to provide financial support for the family, an Income Supporter has, in many cases, put his or her career on hold to focus on managing the family, playing a supportive role in helping his or her spouse earn household income.
Saver vs. Spender
Savers will plan ahead and put money aside before making an important purchase, as having a financial cushion for unexpected emergencies makes Savers feel safe. Spenders somehow always find enough money to buy what they want. Saving for a rainy day doesn’t motivate a Spender; they prefer to buy things and it makes them feel good.
Thinker vs. Doer
Thinkers tend to be strategic, thinking through all scenarios before having a conversation or making a decision. Doers learn by taking action, but a doer’s approach to reaching a decision is typically diligent and thorough. Change can be uncomfortable for doers.
Melody vs. Harmony
The Melody Divorce Archetype profile is also referred to as Dominant, and this person is often characterized as direct and strong-willed. The Harmony Divorce Archetype profile is also known as Submissive, and is usually a listener more than a talker.
Find more information about the Divorce Archetype assessment ;here.
