In Falmouth, Massachusetts, the town in which I practice law, 34 percent of the population was 60 years old or older in 2010. This percentage is expected to rise to close to 50 percent by 2020.
Traditionally, the older the married couple, the less likely the chance of divorce. However, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, 25 percent of divorces in 2007 involved couples who had been wed 20 years or more. And, while the overall divorce rate in the U.S. has decreased since 1990, it has doubled for those ages 50 and older. The surge has spawned the term gray divorce.
Reasons vary. Longer lives could mean more years with spouses who no longer want to live together. Having grown and moved on, their children are no longer a reason to stay together. There is less of a stigma about divorce. More women are working, with some out-earning their spouses. There is even a theory that Baby Boomers, the generation that is now spiking divorce rates, feel a strong entitlement to their lifestyle choices. Whatever the reason, gray divorce is more common than ever.
It’s important to understand that gray divorces are markedly different from the divorces of younger couples. Older couples facing divorce have different priorities. While child support or visitation schedules may no longer be factors, older couples must consider issues like planning for retirement, learning to live on fixed incomes, equitably distributing assets, and paying for medical insurance and/or healthcare.
Even married, older adults can be financially vulnerable in today’s economy. But a separation or divorce hardly helps. The closer to retirement, the more important it is to manage resources carefully. There is less time to recover financially, recoup losses, retire debt and ride the waves of booms and busts.
Often, when older couples divorce, they don’t want to waste their time going through lengthy court battles or spending their hard-earned savings on expensive lawyers. They still care a great deal for one another, but have simply grown apart and no longer wish to share their lives together. Preserving the nest egg means splitting it up in a way that will most benefit each person. And, wasting money on a divorce battle means less in the end for everyone.
Mediation provides an opportunity to control costs and timelines, to focus on future needs and goals, and to maintain a healthy family. This is why it is a better option for many older couples considering divorce.
