Finances in Divorce

On September 8th, Wevorce hosted another Facebook LIVE conversation, Finances in Divorce, with Kristine Rushing, a Wevorce Fiscal Professional and CDFA. If you were unable to join us but are interested in the financial topics discussed, we’ve highlighted the five key points below.

Accept Your New Lifestyle

Divorce means change. It’s definitely not an easy road to take and the emotional and financial changes in your life may feel drastic, even impossible. You had a vision of how your life would be as a married couple; the house, the kids, and all the things that made your family happy and whole.

Sometimes, it’s hard to let go of that image … that dream. But the sooner you do, the better. Your family may be transitioning into two households, but there is no reason you can’t be the healthy and loving family you always were — merely different. Accepting your new lifestyle is the first step forward. Only then can you start healing.

Balance Flow of Money In vs. Money Going Out

Sometimes the reality of lifestyle changes can be hard to accept. So hard, in fact, that some of us may resist. When that happens we may neglect doing the necessary and important things to get our house in order. ;

And, at such a stressful, emotional time, not knowing what to expect can be a source of fear. That’s why having a good financial plan in place will help you to see the big picture. Take time to understand your finances and make a budget that is reasonable, and livable.

Perhaps you’ve played a supportive role in helping your spouse earn household income, possibly having put your own career on hold to focus on managing the family and home. It can be terrifying to think about getting back out there and finding a job to earn a living. Spousal support (also called spousal maintenance) may be an option to help a spouse get back on ;their feet, whether temporary or long term, depending on circumstances.

Understand All Your Assets and Debts

The divorce process requires a married couple list all marital assets and debts. This is the perfect time to take stock of everything. This will give you a clear understanding of what you have, how it will be divided, and how it will affect your future. In other words, you’re building a safety net of facts. This can help alleviate some of the fear and paralysis.

If you haven’t been the money manager in your marriage, you may feel unprepared and uncertain about the process of determining and dividing your finances fairly. Do not mistake these insecurities as powerlessness. You may not know much about this topic, but you can learn. It’s a good time to ask questions and learn the details behind your marital finances in order to prepare yourself for becoming the money manager of your own life after divorce. ;

Understanding can create a sense of peace, allowing you to move forward with a clear picture of your options. ;

Focus on the Kids, Not the Money

All parents want to keep their children happy and healthy. When your family is going through a divorce, being there for them while they battle their own emotions and fears is important. Age-appropriate communication about the divorce and your family’s transition from one home into two can help. Being a great role model will teach them much about life, how to accept change, and how to be resilient.

At Wevorce we ask parents to work together to build a sustainable parenting plan that will provide the best emotional structure and support for their children. Our process is always child-focused and we believe in making decisions that are in the best interest of the children, regardless of the State Child Support dollar amount. This is where having a clear and accurate picture of your finances will allow you to build a sound financial foundation for their future and yours.

But, remember, it’s not always about keeping things the same, or remaining in the big house you can no longer afford, or having lots of things. What your kids really want is a mom and dad that love them, who can co-parent in a respectful, mindful way so they aren’t stressed about grown-up problems.

Breathe

Yes, remember to breathe. It’s a time of chaos and stress, so don’t forget to take care of yourself. When you can look at issues calmly, all questions will be answered. When you can make decisions with clarity, they will be made with wisdom, not emotion.

But be patient, with yourself and each other. Each of you will process in a different way, a different time. Rest assured, your life will even out as you begin again.