Discovering and Understanding the Truth about What Led to the Divorce
So many individuals come to a rough point in their relationship and truly wonder what happened to the love they once had? They have no idea how they actually got to the point they are at now. No matter how successful they are in other aspects of our lives, many do not feel entitled to the same success in love. Instead deep within they become resigned to disappointment, loss, and conflict. This is considered natural as one grows up and gives up the fantasies and dreams. But nothing could be further from the truth.
It is the fantasies we hold now, it is our confused expectations that keep the love away. Many fear they will be hurt. But contrary to popular opinion, real love never hurts or wounds. It is only our confused expectations that can undermine our lives. There is a Buddhist saying “Give up poisonous food wherever it is offered to you.” But most of us do not know what is poison and what is nourishing in our relationships.
Once we know the difference between real and counterfeit love, once we learn the laws of love and how to practice them, we will be able to live a life of love and build relationships that cannot fail. The fact of the matter is that we can begin to do this and turn our lives around at any time. Some complain that they can’t love because there is something wrong with the person they are with. No one can please or satisfy them. In the beginning they may feel as though they’ve found the perfect person, but before they know it, the feeling loved and valued, fades away.
Ultimately, from the psychological point of view, many can do very well, become quite healthy, and yet never get over their disappointments in love. Spiritually speaking, there’s a different point of view. Without the ability to know how to dismantle conflict and experience love the precious taste of this life is thwarted.
But we can change this at any moment. To begin, we suspend judgment of the other and become willing to really discover who they are now; to explore, play, hug, cry and realize that each individual is filled with endless possibilities. We also must develop the ability to say ‘No’ to all of the people, beliefs, habits and desires which can take our faith and love away. Instead of dwelling on what is wrong, we need to be willing to look for and find that which is beautiful and worthwhile in everyone, (including ourselves).
And, somehow, let them know. Learning how to grow in love doesn’t mean being blind or entering into fantasy. It means waking up out of darkened dreams to finally see the beauty which surrounds us. A little endurance is required, along with the willingness to face the shadows that will dispel as soon as we invite in the light. Today, let’s give it a try. It only takes a moment to do so, but the happiness lasts a long, long time.
