If You’re Ready To Move Ahead, Move These Away
Q: After my divorce, I’m trying to move forward and seek a new relationship. I have pictures of my ex around because I want the kids to feel that even though their parents divorced we are still there for them as parents. I’ve been told I shouldn’t have such pictures around if I’m trying to attract a new romantic partner.What’s your opinion?
A: First, I commend you regarding your support of your children and wanting to maintain their sense of security regarding parenting!Having pictures in their rooms sounds like a good idea, or even making personal albums for them to remind them of good times and maintain continuity “ while adding pictures as you create new history with them.
Regarding your own pursuit of a new relationship, I recommend you remove pictures from your office and bedroom for several reasons.First, it reminds you consciously and subconsciously of the issues you had with your spouse and can influence your view of attracting a new partnership that may be a better match.Our past history tends to color what we believe is possible in other relationships and dooms us to choosing partners with similar core issues until those are brought to a conscious level where they can be addressed.
Further, when you do find an interesting romantic possibility, pictures of your ex tend to bring their energy into play so that there are three people in the relationship (emotionally). Finally, and most obvious, is the fact that your new squeeze may think you’re not quite over your ex if you’ve got pictures all over the place, but you’ve probably already figured out that one!