5 Simple Steps: Creating Blended Families
When You’re Getting Remarried, Five Tips to Blend Stepfamilies with Ease
When you remarried, you likely thought your kids and his kids would get along just like Mike and Carol Brady’s brood. However, most attempts to blend families aren’t so easy. The kids may fight — both with each other and with their stepparent. And this can cause even more fighting between parents. What’s a biological parent and the new stepmother or stepfather to do? Consider these steps:
1. Establish clear rules.
Biological parents need to establish clear rules of behavior and consequences. Do not leave this up to the stepparent.
2. Stop feeling guilty.
You may still feel guilty for having divorced and gotten remarried, so you’re letting your kids act out. Don’t let the guilt allow you to slack off as a parent. It’s your responsibility to set boundaries.
3. Parents should take responsibility.
Stepparents should avoid taking on the role of strict disciplinarians. That is, or should be, the biological parents’ responsibility. Support the disciplinary decisions your spouse takes.
4. Keep your chin up.
Don’t get discouraged by the challenges of a relationship with stepchildren. Blending two families into one is a process.
5. Establish alone time.
Remarried couples need to take time away from the children and to be alone together as a couple. Remember what attracted you to each other in the first place.