10 Contradictory Signs of Infidelity

10 Contradictory Signs of Infidelity

Infidelity: 10 Contradictory Signs of Infidelity

There are many signs of infidelity. Some of these signs may appear to contradict themselves. The telltale signs one cheating spouse displays may be just the opposite of the signs displayed by another spouse who is having an extramarital affair. No two cheaters will display exactly the same signs of infidelity. However, there are some general similarities.

The telltale signs found will vary according to the personality of the cheating spouse, the circumstances and type of infidelity involved, and other factors, as well. Consider the contradictory signs of infidelity below.

1. He/she distances himself from you.

This may mean your spouse is solidifying his or her bond with another person.

2. He/she smothers you with attention.

Your spouse may be overcompensating, either because of a guilty conscience or in an attempt to throw you off track so you won’t notice or suspect what’s really going on.

3. Your sex life decreases.

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Out of a mistaken sense of loyalty, your spouse may avoid having sex with you because he/she feels it’s a betrayal to the other woman/man. Or your spouse may be tired enough from having sex with this person that he/she has no energy left for you.

4. Your sex life increases.

The excitement of an affair may spill over into your relationship and fuel your spouse’s desire. Or he or she could be practicing sexual moves on you to perfect them for when he/she is with their lover again.

5. He/she provides too much detail when questioned about his activities.

One sign can be over-explaining or going into excessive detail about why he/she was late or missing in action, in an attempt to make a story or excuse sound plausible.

6. He/she is vague when questioned about his/her activities.

Your spouse may be afraid to give you too many details when you inquire what he/she has been up to, for fear something will slip. The less your spouse says, the less likely you are to catch him/her in a lie or pick up some clue about what he/she is doing behind your back.

7. He/she stays up late.

This may be one way your spouse is able to make contact with his or her lover, either through e-mail, text messages, or phone calls — to prevent you knowing what’s going on. He or she may even sneak out to see this person while you’re asleep.

8. He/she goes to bed early.

This often occurs as an attempt to avoid intimacy with you.

9. He/she is no longer interested in what you do or where you go.

Your spouse may be too busy with another person to concern himself or herself with what’s going on in your world. Cheating spouses are often focused on doing their own thing.

10. He/she wants to know your every move.

By showing excessive interest in your schedule, this could be an attempt to make you think he/she is jealous or he misses you. The real reason your spouse might want to know where you’re going, how long you’ll be there, and when you’re coming back is so he or she can plan his/her affair around your schedule without the fear of getting caught.


Not all cheating husbands or wives act the same way when they are having an affair. A normally talkative, outgoing spouse may become quiet and withdrawn when they’re having an affair. On the other hand, an affair may give a quiet, retiring man or woman an ego boost that transforms a person into Mr. or Mrs. Congeniality —“ talkative, outgoing, and full of energy. The one thing these contradictory signs of infidelity have in common is that they’re all deviations from the cheating spouse’s norm. When you are married, you typically know your spouse’s daily routine, usual personality, and normal patterns of behavior so well that if there’s anything amiss, you’ll pick up on it right away.

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