I have been with my husband 15 years married for five. Everything seemed fine on my end, and would often ask him about our relationship and he always told me he wouldn’t trade me for anyone. I did however feel his depression and anxieties were getting the best of him. I would often stay up all hours of the night walking him through his panic attacks which were a few nights a week. I held him down through 2 surgeries and unemployment. I was his lawyer, his body guard, his advocate, his doctor...pretty much everything. He would often respond with words such as "I can’t see my life without you", "I wish I could love you until infinity”. Loving words throughout the day as well. He even wrote a song for me on November 13 which he sent to every family member of mine and his. So, here is the confusing part. On November 1, 2018, I was rushed to the ER as I was feeling numbness below the waist. I was admitted and a week later diagnosed with a rare illness that semi-paralyzed me from the waist down. The first 2 weeks my husband seemed concerned enough and would offen make me laugh to brighten my day. However, according to him he had a mental breakdown on November 22. Shortly after Thanksgiving my husband put me on silent mood and would not respond to my text or calls. I left numerous messages but none were answered. This went on for 2 weeks and then he responded by text that he needed to work on himself and that no one understands his depression and what he was going through. He ended that text by telling me that he fell out of love with me and that I should focus on getting better. When I questioned him, he never responded. Crying in a bed trying to fight my illness with a broken heart is the worse. I found out later on that the first week of December he met up with someone he knew they had drinks and the affair began. My husband is 46 and his lust is 27. My heart is broken, because my husband of 15 years, my friend, erased our marriage and the love, ignores my sons, will not acknowledge them nor did he once asked about me. He should no empathy through my stay in the hospital nor when I was discharged. Three months after I was discharged from the hospital, I confronted my husband and he ignored me. We own a home together 2 separate floors. He will not leave nor allow me to heal properly. He won’t look at me, he won’t speak to me, nor will he hear me when I am trying to resolve the issue of us or our home. Monday thru Friday he is upstairs and on Fridays he packs up and leaves. I am so hurt and confused. I thought I knew my husband’s heart and never in a million years thought he had this kind of cruelness inside of him. I read up on Narcism and it fits him perfectly, as my illness he made all about himself. He made himself out to be the victim, while going about his affair and denying what I know and a few of his friends know a well. HE is making me look like the villain meanwhile he left me in a hospital bed and never turned back. Fours months later and I am still hurting and he has a carefree life with no care in the world what I am going through. He still wont respond to a sit down and I cant seem to move forward because whenever I see him I am reminded of everything negative and what we had. Its hard grieving when you see the ghost. He has a heart of stone and has in my opinion turned off his humanity. Lately on weekends he sends me gospel music via text. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM? Don’t he know I just need to heal and he needs to leave? I want a fresh new start but I don’t think this man is going to give me what I need.
