I'm currently deployed and I can easily admit things have been rough this deployment since about December with my Wife. Anyhow my Wife messaged me she wants a divorce. She says that things I've said can not be forgiven. We got married before I deployed after dating for about 5 months. I have known her for about 8 years. After arguing a lot about small things I caused a lot of frustration because I had trouble remembering arguments or I was compartmentalizing during these arguments she would say that I wasn't listening and I would ask her to repeat the issue and it would just upset her more, causing her to be more distant. Trying to figure out the issue and my anxiety and not being able to control my triggers I would be irrational and tell her that "I wanted a divorce" and freak out. I've done this I'm guessing 7-10 times. This whole time I was trying desperately to reconnect and my fears were getting the best of me. I've been in therapy since mid January and decided to start because my wife told me I was changing. Which scared me, so I went - for the first 4-5 visits all we discussed was my little sister's death (happened a month before deployment) and family background stuff. And have been working through issues there. At first they thought I had a dissociative disorder but now are thinking I have an abandonment anxiety disorder. Because even during the first month of therapy I was still pushing my wife for an explanation of what was wrong and having freak outs. Anyhow therapy for the last 2 times has turned into dealing with my anxiety and being able to control triggers I didn't know I have. I have tried to explain to my Wife these things the therapist is telling me and what I'm trying to learn, but she believes mental health issues are all made up and that too much has been said to be forgiven. I guess my question is why is it so hard to forgive me for things that I know were hurtful and wrong, but wasn't able to control, but I'm not using that as an excuse I'm actually trying to work on that problem, and why does she want a divorce?