My wife and I have been married for almost 6 years. We had an amazing marriage that all of our friends looked up to. I know we were both head over heals in love and best friends most of all. Over the past 5 weeks she has lost about 25 pounds and claims it’s from eating better and doing a 30 minute workout on her balance ball each morning. She is looking very skinny, and not really in a good way. She’s lost her boobs and her butt, and she’s always been very volumptious and had plenty of both (perfect, actually).
About 5 weeks ago, I noticed her pushing me away, if you will. She was sparking up arguements all of the time and small little sparks would turn into huge fires, if you know what I mean. After about a week of this, I told her I felt she was acting completely out of character and I asked if she was seeing someone else. She told me on 3 different occassions that she was not. Finally, after asking a 4th time, she starting crying and told me that she was. She claimed it was a text messaging relationship with a man she dated for about a year, prior to us meeting. She claimed it was mostly emotional (which I know is bad), and that there had been some heavy petting but no sex. I, of course, cried and cried and told her I wanted her to stay and help to heal our marriage. We did have a talk about some things she said had been bothering her over the past year or so that she knows she never clearly told me about (lack of affection and clear communication). I told her I never knew that she was feeling this way or that I was showing less affection or not communicating as well as I should.
I panicked and drove over to my mom’s house for a good cry. After about 45 minutes, I came home because I felt we should talk more about the affair. She was not there. I knew the guys name so I Google it and found about 5 addresses, all fairly close to the home. I hopped in the car and typed them into the navigation system. The first 4 turned up nothing, but the 5th is where I found our truck parked! I knocked on the door a couple of times and she eventually came out. I cried to her and asked her to come home, that she was my wife, I loved her, and this wall all wrong. She did. We worked on it for a few days, but I knew she was continuing to text him.
A couple of days later, she took some things and left the home. During the past few weeks, I’ve seen her only so that she can get a few things from the house and see that cats. She has turned her back on everything she loves. I now hold separation papers that are based on irreconcilable differences. They state I get pretty much everything, including the house and any equity, one of the cars, and almost all of the furniture and belongings. She is taking almost all of the credit card debt (I am splitting 2 cards with her, the rest I had no part in), a desk, and some bedroom furniture. That’s it.
I love my wife with all of my heart and I have no interest in getting separated or divorced. All the way up to the time we started arguing a few weeks back, all she ever talked about was me. Our friends and family are devastated because the thought we had a model marriage and nobody had any idea that something was wrong. Part of me believes there might be drugs involved due to the weight loss, mood swings, and lack of caring and emotion. I know I’m going to have to sign these papers and move on but this is so hard. I do I deal with this?