I hear you brother, same happened to me nearly as you describe everything. It took 6 months (possibly would have been longer had she not filed a contested divorce which contained nothing but spiteful allegations and all manner of attacks of character) before I could even snap out of the "I love my wife" phase and realized that like it or not, I wasn't going to be permitted closure that didn't involve a legal system. We physically saw each other (outside of court) 2 times since she even told me she wanted the divorce and locked me out.
It's been a year. My business is bankrupt, my attorney quit, and my own support system is entirely wore of even so much as hearing about it. I find myself frustrated in the most mundane of things, and quick to anger in everything else that just seems to be difficult to accomplish. I did seek counseling very quickly; perhaps things would be much worse without.
Ultimately I know all things happen for a reason. It remains a lesson I do not wish to partake in, but one that's end is still not yet quite near. Most people have told you to move on within the first month. You have to hang on for you and you only. None of it makes sense, but know you have already survived the worst. Find anything that is remotely productive you can occupy your time with and hang on to it like its your best friend. It's great to vent, but you have to be ever vigilant in reducing the amount of time spent permitting yourself to think about this, because there are no answers and nothing good to come of.