I saw a post like this and could'nt find it again. Forgive me if it is a common question. 1st of all. She left me. for a friend of a friend that used to come to our house last year for bon fires. He is/was married too at the time. He still is I believe but has his own place.
Anyhow he would come over and literally go stand in a corner in my garage and lure my wife in there, and they would talk for hours privately. It's his game . She fell for it. I even kicked him off our property once. The man grew up in our small town. My wife and I we're very well known in this town... active, and lived in a prominent house by the beach with lots of friends. We had a nice boat and lived on the water and raised (and were continuing to raise) 3 kids that still lived at home. Being self employed we did have some rough years, but we fell on our feet always. We considered our relationship like no other... soul mates even had matching soul mates tattoos. Everyone thought including us, that we we're the perfect model couple. We had been together for 15 years. We had a rough summer. She was diagnosed with malignant melanoma, and was also turning 40. She got through the cancer, but was never good with birthdays (midlife crisis?)
Then she told me one day last September, she wanted the divorce. I tried everything. Tried to re-romance her, prove my love for her, make personal sacrifices to no avail. At this time, she had told me no other man was involved. She moved out a month later into a rental home, and I found out she was with another man because his truck was in front of her home the next morning...on her first night out of the house! Other than a mutual friend, he has no friends, no one likes this guy. He is a known dirt ball. Has all the toys, jeep, offshore boat, harley, large truck, house on the water, golf cart and his only friend tells me he's in debt up the arse. He is very outwardly weak person and needs to impress people with his trophy collection, which my ex, a very beautiful woman, is now part of. This may seem a biased opinion, however he actually is a real dirt ball. Well this all crushed me to the point of being curled up shaking on the cold wood floor daily/nightly for a very long time. I still have relapses of it from time to time.
Early on she was very concerned for me. We'd talk, share e-mail links, she still cared about my well being. Aside from a few rough spots and arguments (like when I finally confronted him in a local bar, but ended up shaking his hand vs. killing him) I have been very fair the past year. Never late on a child support payment, and even give her an extra $100 month over and above that! She does not appreciate that by the way, at all...feels it's owed. Anyhow in the last year, the woman I and the kids knew is dead inside. She now listens to different music, dresses like a teen and lost all her friends.
She only talks to me once per month, and that's to find out when the extra $100 will be available. She can't even look at me otherwise, and complains to me like it's my fault she has to work 2 jobs to keep her rental house. I told her that was her decision to leave me, I don't care if she works 10 jobs. She just is very outwardly hateful, even the kids see it. I am over her for the most part. Just trying to deal with the loneliness as I seem to be completely un-dateable even though I am a nice looking guy.
I am in a small apartment now, with only a few things. Everything I/we had, is just a memory. I don't want her to forget. I just want her to be nice with me. Perhaps have lunch together and talk about the kids (that was her idea last year). I don't want her to bury the past, and actually forget just how magical it truly was for 14.5 of those 15 years. The cruelty breaks my heart. wow, sorry, longer than I thought. guess this is a vent. ~Rick