WE are men and we are NOT perfect

I’ve been divorced for almost 2 yrs.
Between 2 marriages I have been married about 31 years, half of my life.

So being with someone is far more “normal” for me than not.
What I have encountered tho are women that say that I need more time alone??!!
So ladies…is there a set time that a guy must be alone BEFORE you would consider him a viable partner candidate?

I am being a bit snarky…but I am also wondering if there is a sweet time…say between 2-6yrs that we are considered ready for a long term commitment??

I am seeing a women now that has been single for the last 12 yrs and OMG…she wants to be with a man…but wants it on her terms.
I have expressed by DEEP affection for her and she gets scared that once we have sex I will be gone.
I have told her that is not happening.

I don’t know if I want to be married again…but It would be so wonderful to have more of a closer relationship with her.
I guess I feel that as I move in close she steps away but when she moves in close I don’t and that seems to push her away???

Damnit ladies…we are men and we are NOT perfect… LOL

I don’t think there is a “set” time. However, I think the time needed is subjective. You need to be sure YOU are ready, you’ve checked all the baggage you can, and you are emotionally prepared to give a woman what she needs. This lady you speak of that you are seeing, had been on her own foe 12 years…that is a long time to get used to your independence. A long time to be quite cozy in your own skin, and also used to your space and freedom…it is a lot to give up. You need to allow her time to adjust, to invite you into her space, as she does you, as well. It sounds like she has been jilted before, and as the saying goes…once bitten, twice shy…if you care as much as you say you do, then be patient. I think that is all she is asking…patience and understanding. We don’t expect perfection…but from one wounded soul to another…after 12 years, I would be gun shy as well. Men need to understand the power they have. You have the ability to change us and the world we have built for ourselves… we can change from being like Beyonce…and independent woman, to your loyal wife, and realistically as much as we int about about " I wont let a man change one!" everybody has to give up something to gain, and in relationships, that can be our independence & freedom and we have to be ready for that as much as you have to be ready for a a committed relationship.

So be patient, be understanding and she will learn to trust that you are the man you say you are.

" Nothing easy is ever worth it"


I do understand what you are saying…my therapist has also conveyed those sentiments…but it’s just that we met on a dating website.
We had 3 dates and then she cut it off…saying that she didn’t feel right for me…3 weeks later she wants to come back and try again. That during those 3 weeks she kept thinking about me.
So I figure…as ANY other person would I assume that when you want to come back that you have thought it thru and that you are ready to spend more time together.
Well that seems to be somewhat the opposite.

Maybe I was too easy of a pushover…

well date other people
dont make yourself so emotionally available
it appear she want to be in control of the relationship
but relatinship are :100: and :100:
Good Luck

we must know our worth and learn our worth.

I wouldn’t put all my eggs in her basket if I were you. She is fickle. If her feelings were genuine, she wouldn’t be so difficult to read.