I know everybody' story is different, and maybe I just need to vent some - first day on this site and maybe just need to hear from the ladies out there who can openly discuss their own midlife crisis . But couple of questions: Is there such a thing as a midlife crisis for women? Is there a deeper, unaddressed problem of a women who feels they need to break up a marriage of 13 years, 5 kids, and ask a loving devoted husband to divorce because she's NOT IN LOVE anymore? Whats a guy to do who's open to reconcilation wants to work on any and all problems, both his and hers - when I women only states there is no love, no point in trying?
Divorce papers filed next week, I'm in couseling, crushed, starting a serious walk with GOD (as right now it seems to be the only thing that makes straightforward sense in this totally immoral world) - and she's out dating, crusing the bars, working out everday, ignoring her children, blaming me for all her unhappiness. Read a very helpful book titled Surving your WIfes' Midlife Crisis - found online - and I can take away all the advice and understanding it was intended to provide yet still without my wife recognizing her issues, admitting there are unresovled issues she's refusing to address and work on - its just the most painful experience that I can see would drive a unstable, insecure man over the edge What does it take for a sensible practical women to fall back in love, realize all she had, and what terrible series of decsions she's been making the last two years. Is there another guy, serious lover, no...but she thinks there is her soulmate outthere still. Or maybe its just the freedom to run around single - get to drop the kids off and have a quiet weekend to herself.
For a women who proposes to be of solid Christian Faith, how does she reconcile what she's doing vs. what the bible says about Divorce and Adultery. Claiming that she has GOD s Grace and that Jesus has died for her sins and forgives her - almonst gives her an unfettered license to commit sin after sin. Quite scary the transformation that took place from the loving caring person I married- someone who always cared first for those she loved . Not a quick transformation either, I watched it happen over many years, with each child she got edgier and edgier, more demanding and controlling. She is a child from a mother that divorce two times in her first 17 years - mother was nut job, seem she had overcome this diastrous childhood, but not its repeating itself in her adult life.
I'm doing just okay at the moment - so hard to be forgiving, supportive and hopeful when there is such negativity and constant unjustified, irrational attacks. Thankful the divorce process has been very collaborative, there hadn't been any fights over money or custody/visitation of the kids - she's only looking for her freedom or independence. Thankfully I've accepted the LORD fully into my life at this troubling time, I do receive comfort from HIS word, however as I come on all the parts about marriage, unconditional love, it makes me very sad to realize that my ex has not only left me, but has also lwalked away from GOD.
Is there Grace for a women who walks out of marriage for unbiblical reasons cause she's not in love or not happy or doesn't love her husband as a wife should - all in her words. All thoughful replies are appreciated....short answer such as move on is callous and doesn't truly understand the struggle I'm having with this all and the beleif I have that GOD can work miracles. But still He who brings it do you, will bring you through it.....