For a little background...I have been divorced four years, I initiated the divorce. My daughters are 13 and 9, and see their father every other weekend and on Wednesdays. Soon after I filed for divorce, my ex-husband got into a relationship that moved very quickly, and he was married and she was pregnant within a year. They now have a three year old daughter.
When my ex's now wife moved in with my ex (and my children), I asked to meet her. It took months for her to agree to meet me but she eventually did. We all went out to dinner and it went well. Back then, she attended some of my children's activities with my ex and seemed to be supportive of my ex's relationship with our daughters. My ex and I have a up and down relationship and have never had what I would consider a healthy co-parenting relationship.
Zoom ahead to her having her own child with my ex. When the baby was born, my older daughter was sick. My ex was only willing to take my younger daughter for parenting time. I did not agree, as I felt my older daughter should be included sick or not. We argued on the phone and then he flat out refused to take my older daughter and that was that...he picked up only my younger daughter. Apparently this five minute argument ruined the entire birth of their daughter they have lost all respect for me (per my ex). It is now three years later and his wife has never attended another activity for either of my daughters. My ex went through extensive hoops for me never to see their daughter for nearly three years (they live 10 minutes from me), and I have not seen his wife since their daughter was an infant. My ex is becoming less and less involved in my girls' lives, has zero contact with them when they are not in his care, is beginning to refuse more and more activities (playdates, birthday parties, extracurricular activities) on his weekends and is also starting to back out of his parenting time. He didn't see my daughters for the last three weeks because my older daughter was sick and then he worried both girls were "carriers" and would make his younger daughter sick. Many many things have happened over the years that indicate my ex's wife is extremely controlling, and, at least to me, she seems to make sure my ex chooses her and their daughter over my children. My daughters have until now been seemingly oblivious to this. But things have been happening over the past 6 months or so that have brought about a change in my older daughter as she seems to be figuring things out more and more. I feel sick for my daughters and have so much disgust and anger towards my ex and his wife. I hate that I'm letting this impact my daily life!
Has anyone else had a similar situation? I don't have many divorced friends and those that are have exes that are involved in the day to day. I have been dating a man for three years with two children and he is an excellent dad with 50/50 custody and co-parents fairly well with his ex. My own parents are divorced and get along well - often all four of my parents (parents and step-parents) attend my girl's activities and such.