Still confused

Me, 56, man, midlife, motorcycle, faithful. Her, 55, menopause, motherinlaw moved in. I tried hard to make it work but after 4 weeks she asked me to go. She said she had been thinking about for years. I felt more and more alone for those years but never considered divorce. After a week in a motel, she asked me to find a more permanent place. I got a 6 month lease apartment. She has filed for divorce and has reasonable demands. We still have not signed a property agreement. The lawyers are working on it but I can’t talk to them.

I am confused to why she will not just stay married and separate. It seems to have satisfied Her in this current arrangement for the last 2 months. I love her and she says she still loves me. We were almost to retirement. I am so confused and sad.

2 yrs…that is how my therapist has told me it takes for someone to make a divorce move after they have thot of it or something happened to push them into it.
It did for me. I was the emotional cheater. But I was not in love with the ex as a man shud be to his wife.

Something happened 2 yrs ago that germinated and now this.

She may love you as it goes…but may feel that it’s not the HOT burning love she once had.

I know you love her still…but now you need to look out for yourself. Sadly divorces are ugly and it kills you inside.

I know she is an Adult Child of Alcoholic. I did call her mom a bad name right before she kicked me out. I think she saw her father and had psychotic break. I have have raced into the stages of grief and still am in denial and trying to bargain with her. I did get an appointment with a psychotherapist just to have some objective to talk to. You are right it hurts.