Soon to be ex still interested in having sex

So my soon to be ex and the father of our two small girls had a convo last night (initiated by me) as to what the future holds in terms of him moving out (he now lives in the basement) and financial stuff as well. He is also looking to move out of state since all the tech jobs are in a certain area near us but it’s close enough so he’ll only drive about 2 hours and he’ll see the kids every other weekend. I’ve tried to tell him that counseling is working for me and I would like to give us another try because I realize I wasn’t always there for him emotionally. His answer is always I love you but not in the way I should love you.

So after that talk I actually felt a tad better and what not. So the next morning he came into the room to take his usual shower and I turned away like I have for the past two weeks so he can turn on the light to get dressed. He said are you sure? and I jokingly replied well, I’ve seen you naked for the last 9 years and we’llProbably end up sleeping with each other before you move out to which he replied you didn’t seem interested.Last night when we were talking you were all covered upIn you blanket. The he said don’t you think the people we might date would have a problem with that? and I told him we’re ok until the divorce and he nodded his head and left for work.

I’m not looking for any deep meaning here, but why would he ask for a divorce, tell me we have no chance of getting back together, make plans to move and then was thinking I wasn’t acting like I was interested in having sex with him?? He’s a very sweet, down to earth guy and this threw me for a loop. I know a lot of men can separate sex and love, and knowing me I wouldProbably get my hopes up that it means that he wants to work on our relationship when he in fact has one foot out the door. But he’s never been the type of guy who would do such a thing. Totally baffled by this. Thoughts?

Michelle…use your head to protect your heart. My ex had one foot out the door, then moved out. Claimed he wanted a divorce but didnt act on it until he emotionally and physically connected with another. Until then, our emotional connection was broken but not severed and the sexual connection gave me hope that we could work on things. Turns out he turned to me to fulfill his sexual needs because I was a safe option. Once he found what he was looking for outside our marriage he filed. He didn’t respect me enough to tell me he had a gf and managed to get her pregnant two months into it. We went through the divorce and two months after I found out through other resources what had transpired. Take care of you and let the chips fall where they may because at this point he isnt thinking about a future with you in it.

You need to get an attorney’s advice regarding protecting your assets - once a fella checks out emotionally and feels you’re on board with a divorce, the next step is usually checking out financially - he’s not obligated to provide spousal or child support without a court order in place.I’m not saying that you have to get all adversarial - get your paperwork together and get some advice. I believe that, reading between the lines, you aren’t sure that the two of you have done everything you can to get things to work out. Look at you, not him. One of the lessons I learned in my divorce is that I can lead a horse to water but I can’t make him drink - no matter how thirsty I am.We’re here for you.

Um … yeah … ditto to what others have said. He doesn’t want to have sex with you because he loves you and wants to re-commit to the marriage. He wants to have sex. Period. And you’re there. He has functioning junk and he wants to use it. His statement about the people we will date tells you the answer. It’s up to you decide what you can live with. Personally, I would have found it too confusing and traumatic to have sex with my ex while we were divorcing. If I still loved him enough to have sex with him, I wouldn’t be divorcing him, kwim?

michelle
he want sex because it convenient and safe.
Dont let him confuse you
i tried this and i was confuse sending mixed signals
i decided to not sleep with Stbx again
And yes it frustrating living under the same roof.
But I will not go there again because nothing will change