Start with some self care. Go talk to a counselor. Make a list of your priorities. See if you can get him to go to counseling with you. If he says no which from your description here I expect him to say no - go by yourself.
You might try and figure out what it is he gets out of a relationship with you - are you bringing in money? taking care of home and hearth? is there an image to maintain with family? He's getting something out of this and its helpful to figure out what. Once you figure that out try and set up your lives so you each are getting what you need. As an older male he may not want to pursue a physical relationship because its difficult for him. There are drugs now like Viagra to help with that situation. Try and broach that with him if that feels safe. Some men (and women) have a source of pride where getting outside help in the form of Viagra or hormones are a blow to their ego and are just not acceptable. If that is your case you can broach the possibility of opening up your relationship to get your needs met. That's also tricky but some couples do that. The definition of relationships has been morphing in our modern era and there are all sorts of relationships nowadays with all sorts of rules like nothing our grandparents ever experienced.
If none of that out of the box problem solving works you may have no choice but to move on. So sorry Sometimes we love people but we need things they can't give us. Read Tracy Cabot's "The Broken Popcorn" fable at http://www.loveadvice.com/ARTICLES/POPCORN.HTM