Sex For The First Time After Separation

Hey Everyone, My stbx and I have been separated for 5 months now, after 16 years together. I am nearing the time when I might like to re-experience Male companionship.

Truthfully the lack of sexual fulfillment for me was a big bone of contention in my marriage.The thing is, I have never slept with anyone except my ex. I am 34 and I’ve never had sex with another man. I think I’m done with waiting for hubby to return. I’m letting go and soon I’ll be ready to let whatever happens, just happen.

How long did you all wait after separating before having intimate contact with someone new?

had my first boyfriend 4 months after mine left. It took him 5 weeks to talk me into going out with him since he was younger. It was absolutely amazing. Our biggest problem was always that he wasn’t as interested in sex as I was and quite frankly was not very good at it. We’ll just say I’ve experienced whole new worlds.You’ve got a lot of great years to look forward to. I’ve read that women reach a peak in their 40’s and men in their early 20’s. My personal experience is that one’s level of interest is highly individual and not at all age dependent.I know I’m a bad girl. I’m still married and have had two boyfriends and lots of dates. However, I think that since he’s with someone else, in my mind that breaks the marriage vow. We might be married legally but in God’s eyes we weren’t as soon as he stepped outside of the marriage. This is at least the way I justify it to myself. I’m still working on justifying being with men so much younger - but legal! hehehe. I think I might be going to hell.

Tigger for me there has not been anyone else yet. I could not be with a man while I was still married. I know this may sound dumb, my attorney told me I was free to do so, but I would have felt like I cheated. Strange from a woman that was cheated on I know. Also, I am no where near ready to be with someone. I am so selfish right now life is about me, getting started into school, and getting healthy. I don’t want that rebound relationship I have had enough pain. So for now I am very content with male friends. Gotta love the men they are great friends.

I got divorced 2 months ago (it took all of 6 weeks) after 21 years of marriage, and 23 years with the same man. My husband was cheating on me. Go figure. No reasons. Our sex like, to be honest, was horrible the last 3 or 4 years. He was impotent so there was no action. During the 6 week time period of the divorce, I reconnected with a man who used to be my husband’s best friend. He is 9 years younger than I am and there was a huge draw. So once the divorce was final, we both admitted to our feelings. I was a bit hesitant cuz I had only been with about 3 men in my life. This man is amazing. That is all I’m going to say and on top of that, I am a totally different woman now. Not sure why or what this man awakens in me, but it is amazing. Lots of time women in their 40’s (I’m 45) are discounted cuz their sex drive is going down. Well I must have saved all mine up from the last 21 years because Im raring to go. And finding a younger man (which wasn’t what I set out to do at all and at the beginning it sort of bothered me) was just the right thing for me. Cuz he is raring to go too. I guess I just followed my instincts and gut feelings. I was a bit scared at first because his ex looked like a Victoria’s Secret runway model. So I sort of felt like I wasn’t pretty enough. I have a decent body (weight about 93 pounds right now) but I have the usual stretch marks from having my son 20 years ago and felt a bit self-conscious to be honest. But he loves me just the way I am. He thinks I have a rockin body and I love it. So if you find someone who you are attacted to - go for it if the chance arises. This man and I developed a very strong relationship before we did go to bed together, so we are exclusively dating. I was extremely fortunate to find someone I knew and was comfortable with who felt the same way about me as I did about him. He hadn’t dated since his divorce (a year ago - ex cheated on him too) so we were both in the same boat. good luck & follow your instincts.

For whatever reason, and I speak singularly, I have had ED issues right after the last time she and I had sex. I’ve had tests and used Viagra, Cialis, Yohimbe root, etc. They then told me good news, there’s nothing physically wrong. Bad news…it’s probably psychological and that’s worse. I’m 4 years out from my divorce and the last two attempts at a relationship were affected by the ED. But I notice that the more I trust, the better I am in arousal. Unfortunately, the women both assumed it was about them and made things worse. Just sharing from an otherwise quiet demographic.

farmgirl
i agree with you
i dont want a rebound relationship
i want a male companion
and when I am ready
someone that is compatbilty to me