LR, not every first relationship after divorce is a rebound. You are right when you you say that a rebound is when we are trying to prove to ourselves that we are ok, or when we are using the relationship to cover up all the hurt, pain, and loneliness.To help your healing process, I suggest individual counseling. I had been going to see someone for a while, I think it may have even been a few years, in the three year period during which my ex and I tried to reconcile. She helped me find my voice, define my goals, and see how I was worth more than being called fat and stupid all the time. I continued to see her all through the divorce, and on-and-off for three years afterwards. I really needed that outside viewpoint to help give me direction. I also went through Divorce Care twice. Even after I got back on my feet, I was extremeloy angry. To the point where it was hurting me, and I didn't want or need it anymore. I had a hard time letting it go, and Divorce Care helped me immensely.Who says you can't have both: mind-blowing sex and the start of something wonderful? I found both with the Invisible Man. And I too, was a woman who was never kissed or touched by my ex. (You don't kiss the porn queen, you only fuck her, excuse the graphics.) So yes, the sureg of estrogen and adrenaline I got around the IM was amazing. He can make me melt when he kisses me. I will never put up with mediocre sex again, but I don't have to skimp on intelligence, sense of humor, and compassion, either. DON'T SETTLE.