Not sure but here I go

I am 3 months into my divorce. I am not happy but I am not scared anymore to be by myself. Such little time but after what I have seen in my 5 years of marriage I figure I will be okay… I have started having meaningless sex with a friend I’ve known for a long time. Truly, never thought he would be the pick, but what a pick he is. He already knows me and my family since I was in high school. Yes, today, I seek out why is my moral of still being married by paper and law but not by any other reason do I feel like the biggest cheater out there. My husband was a drug , sex and rock and roll type of guy so I had to leave him to that scene. But even now in the separation, I feel like I should be reading the bible , holding on to the new virginity of leaving a marriage under the heavens, but was it really? He was never around, always gone , I may have seen him 3 days out of a week due to the drugs and if I knew him the sex and rock and roll came along, just without my knowledge in the (world)… I love my new found sex partner. He ask nothing of me, I ask nothing of him. There are no commitments are guarantees, and I think at this point its what I need but in time not what I will want futuristic for me. I am not sure if I want to get married again, but for right now I will take the meaningless sex and the good conversation about what I want and believe it or not he listens or so I think ,it really does’nt matter, just as long as he continues to please my thoughts at this time