Not separated far enough (codependency)

My husband of 16 years finally said he was leaving me 3 weeks ago. I have been financially supporting him and our two teenager for many years along with doing 95% of household duties and childcare It’s not that he doesnt work he is just a terrible business man and keeps thinking a profit is just around the corner. He was running his business and building a caravan in the shed so when he said he wanted to leave I kindly said he didn’t have to vacate the shed straight away. Little did I know he would move into it! I told the government departments we were separated straight away so he could get unemployment benefits and rent assistance but it seems he is in no hurry to become independent. He showers at friends houses but uses the electricity, internet and water I pay for.
I kind of like being able to keep an eye on him and the kids can see him whenever they want. It’s calmer in the house without his presence but in my ideal world we would share custody of the kids 50/50 in his own home. He also drops in a lot to find paperwork and see the kids. What should I do?

@respect3 You need to do whatever is going to make you feel comfortable in the long run. Right now you are just separated but eventually that may lead to divorce. Once people start to move on with their lives they can do so with other people. How are you going to feel when he starts having sleepovers with a girlfriend in your backyard? Or better yet what if you want to move on with another partner? No one either of you dates is going to care for the situation at all.

I think if it were me I’d give him a deadline. It can be a generous deadline like 3 to 6 months. I’d document the household contents thoroughly and make copies of all financials. Then I’d hire an attorney and get him served when you are emotionally ready for that. That readiness will need to include accepting that he has parenting rights too and you will not be able to keep such close tabs on him once he is in his own home.

Good Luck!