@respect3 You need to do whatever is going to make you feel comfortable in the long run. Right now you are just separated but eventually that may lead to divorce. Once people start to move on with their lives they can do so with other people. How are you going to feel when he starts having sleepovers with a girlfriend in your backyard? Or better yet what if you want to move on with another partner? No one either of you dates is going to care for the situation at all.
I think if it were me I'd give him a deadline. It can be a generous deadline like 3 to 6 months. I'd document the household contents thoroughly and make copies of all financials. Then I'd hire an attorney and get him served when you are emotionally ready for that. That readiness will need to include accepting that he has parenting rights too and you will not be able to keep such close tabs on him once he is in his own home.