Need to get away from husband, I'm really scared!

My husband is mentally/verbally abusive to me everyday telling me I’m no good, I’m a waste of life, I’m a bad mom, calling me nasty names. I’m so scared of him. He kicks me out just about everyday, so when he does that I leave and go to my friends for the night.

Then he calls and calls and calls threatening me because I’m not home, yet he made me leave. He won’t let me work, he took all of our money and opened his own account so I have no access to any funds. I have nowhere to go if he throws me out again, and I don’t want him to try and take my son from me.

How can I stay in my home and have him leave? I don’t know my rights, and I don’t know what to do.

I was also in an abusive marriage and it did turn physically violent very quickly. It is not a relationship you want to be in no matter how much you love your husband, you need to love yourself more. You really do need to get things together to leave as soon as possible. Def call a domestic violence hotline/shelter…they will/can help you. I just started going to a support group once a week at one and it helps me so much. You can start going to that as soon as you find one. The women will help give you strength and support. Also, if you cant leave right away you need to keep a journal of EVERY mean and abusive thing he says and does. Write down all fights and what they are about. You will need this to prove to the courts/police etc that he has a history of abuse so it will be unlikely he would get your son. Or if anything this will help prove your case. If he ever physically hurts you or threatens to physically hurt you or scares you then call the police. Dont hesitate. That is what they are there for and if he isnt arrested or anything they still have record of the police being called and this furthur proves your case. But please keep your plans secret from your husband. Please do everything in your power to get away. It will be the hardest thing you will ever do but YOU are worth it and it will be the BEST thing you will ever do for yourself. and listen to all the other advice here. The local d.v. shelter where I live has a device where they will record voicemails from your husband that are abusive to play in court to help you. They have resources and they are there for you.

I agree, document EVERYTHING…my ex was the same way. When I left and didn’t return at his demand, he threatened to file kidnapping charges against me if I didn’t let him come and take our two daughters. He said he didn’t give a f***if I came back, he just wanted the kids back…right. It was all a ploy to get me alone with him again so he could continue to control me-he knew I wouldn’t let him take the kids without me tagging along-and if I had, things would have been worse and more violent than they had been before I left…if/when you leave, do not contact him and ignore any and all contact FROM him…he’ll be sugary gooey sweet, and he’ll make you think he’s changed and that he loves you, but the truth is that abusers don’t know how to love-they only know how to control and lie, and destroy. Don’t fall for it-don’t even engage in dialogue with him after you leave. You’ll be safer and will heal faster and more effectively.I kept a journal of some of the incidents, of the violence and the manipulation and the name-calling, and have begun posting some of those blogs here. Your case in court will be a lot easier to prove if you have documentation…but, Lord, do not let him find it. jerzey, the women commenting on here were once where you are now-we were ALL victims of all types domestic violence, and we all thought our situation was hopeless and destitute, we’ve all heard the name-calling and experienced the destruction of our lives as we knew it: our independence, our family/friends, our sense of self-worth, our finances…one piece at a time. But look at us now-each of us at a different point in the healing process-but we all SURVIVED. you CAN do this, and you DO deserve better!

jerzy - I can not keep a log at home because me very controling abusive husband will find it and read it and abuse me about it…I know because he has in the past-I keeep a log of incidents here in my incidents sections on my home page…works for me…peace and strength to you…just that you are here shows your strength