Need a females advice please

…just got out of a 32 year marriage and a continuous divorce. Not being the party who initiated it…I just wondered how long did it take you to feel BETTER??? It’s been four months and I feel like it was just yesterday.

i understand i am a bundle of emotions
i suggest find a divorce care meeting in your area
i been to two meeting and it help me come to acceptance
try to do what you can to stay grounded and being in right mind
i walk or exercise when i am scatter brain
but in the meantime take one day at a time
Good luck

I went right from my parents home to a relationship with my ex. We lived together 5 years before we were married. We were married 10 years. 15 years is nothing in comparison to 32 years but, I can say I had a rough time. I was the one that initiated the divorce. I left with two toddlers and was alone for the first time in my life. I was unprepared and scared and I struggled for a long time. I was angry, hurt, and lost. Remember I initiated it. I knew I didn’t love him anymore, but he was all that I had ever known too. It was a rollercoaster of emotions. I didn’t know who I was. I was his wife, a mother, daughter… But, I had spent so much time in the marriage I could not tell you who I was. Everyone will tell you time helps and it does. People will tell you to join groups take classes etc…and those things help. But, what helped me the most was the journey to self-discovery. Finding me and getting to know who I was. My ex had a contemporary taste in furnishings. So therefore, I did also. He liked his steak cooked rare and his potatoes a certain way. His routines were my routines. He was a dominant person so my opinions took a backseat. Years of this and then wham… Guess what? I don’t actually like contemporary and I like my steaks where they don’t moo.

Sorry computer shut down so now I will finish my original reply. I found myself to be so totally different and comfortable with myself a year down the road. Even more a year later. I found my voice. I know who I am and I like me. And all this helped in the healing process but, I am still not over it. I will probably never be over everything that happened in the marriage. I am definitely changed by the divorce. And my opinion is that every experience both good and bad help to mold our character. Marriage and divorce. We all have our process to deal with everything and there is no time constraint in that process. There are people that it takes no time at all for, while there are others that never seem to get over it. If you come up somewhere in the middle of both extremes it will be the healthiest for you. Don’t rush the process. Find yourself. Let go when it is your time.

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today i am screaming inside
saying i dont want a divorce
this is not the way it suppose to be
we suppose to grow old together and bring each other tea.
this is not fair
why dont he love me enough to work on his marriage
listen and acknowledge how i feel
this is not fair


3 Years.