Hey, im 17 rn, never had a relationship but pretty open abt sex with my mom, my mom has a girlfriend and not boyfriend and i always knew that and accepted, i had no problem, she had only 2 partners since the divorce and i know noth of them, but theres a big difference with her cureent gf, my mom wwre nevwr lovebirds with my dad, and her last gf was very tactic and didnt let me see enything beyond kisses or hugs, but her current gf is pretty open and might i dunno... Hug my mom in a way... That kind of way, or touch her butt. I can try to get used to it, but it happend that we havw a room and theres a space up there where u can sleep, its like another floor but its mot another room, and i was sitting downstairs and were in my headphones while they both were upstairs, and when i took the earphones off i heard some rubbing nooses and heavy brrathing, i felt SO WEIRD, i didnt know what to say what to feel, but unfortunatly i was turned on, cuz i dunno it jist does it. And i was so confused. I talked to my mom after and shr told me shell stop. A month or so later we were the 3of us in a cafe and so she staeted to hug her but with some context, and i told my mom with tears that im asking her not to do that kind of staff in front of me because Not used to it at all, at least give me time. So 2 days after we were in her gf's house and i slept in another room but we ALL knew how Tjin the walls were, and i couldnt fall asleep and was just laying, i started to fall asleep and then i heard nocking sounds.... My heart started pounding uncontrollably, i was teying to convince myself that its fine, they maybe just moved sth by accidemt or so, but then i heard moanings. I was SP SHOCKED. It felt disguesting, so bad... I started to cry, from one side i knew for 100%that rhat was MY mom, and it felt so disguesring thqt i was turned on, and o hated that i was, i was shaking and just curled up in a ball in between the sheets. I cried and i cougged out loud because i didnr know ehat to do, all my stuff was in the room they were in so i couldnt take my earphones etc. I had such a will to go and BREACK THEUR DOOR, but im not that kind of person, my mom came aeoumd half an hour later and saw me all in tears, we had a chat. And i know its selfish not to want it, i mean my mom is also a person, she is human, she needs sex as much as i do and im happy she has someone that loves her as much, but really... Plwase couldnt you go xheck the room if i was asleep before that? I know its night time and im sulposed to sleep but that was Horrible, its the day after rn and the sound still keeps repeqting in my mind, and im an artist and i have such imaginqtion and i unfortunately and unconsciously start to think ehat were they doing? That or that? And i feel disguesting cuz i was turned on, but im single and a virgin, so i dunno, mayne afger ill have sex i wont react that was, but i was also once... Im not sure if thats sexual abusement nut ive never told enyone, but simce i love to learn psychology i guess that might be a reason why i started masturbating so early in my age. Amd i... I was so confused and i hurt my mom, but i couldnt, i wanted to go and do something horrible to myself because i couldnr stop it, i couldnt and i couldnt go away because her gf is living in another country and i had nowhere to go. I felt so lost, so wrong,am i gerting attracked to my mom?? What?? Wh? Please Stop, me and my mom were always close but i didnt know what to do. I still dont, thankfully i found some replays that i hope ill show her and shell understand, but since her mom died whm she was young i cqnt possibly explaing that i dont want to think of her of sexy or see hwr in that light imagine how shes doing it, think about it and no!! She told me that some her friends as lids saw their parents condoms and were happy for them, u know its great thay someome loves you that much as to make yoU moad but i DONT WANNA HEAR THAT!! I was so lost and every time i remember it rn im turned on and i cant do enything, i think its wrong to masturbate at your momsoanings but i javw no one else to go to nor to talk to. Me and mom were always besties but rn i feel like i also really wanna go and expirience thay but im not the kind of person who will just go and sleep with the 1st person on the street, ive been asked to 'hook up' and i rejected ot cuz i didnt want it that way, but i dont know ehat to do right now... I can only try to make her understand, but after that i thoughy idc when her gf will come ill go sleep at my friends house but i cant do that all the time and... Yeah please dont let your kids hear that, the best you can do is talk to thwm but actially i dont even know what could my mom do right now to help me erase this feeling of disguest and wrong feelings thay i have.