I know I'm going to get criticized for this, and I can take it. I've done a really embarassing thing and I hope I can get some advice here. I've been divorced for almost 3 1/2 years. I was seperated for 9 months before that. I waited until about 8 months ago to start dating.
Within the last 5 months, I've met someone really special and we are in a monogamous, committed (although obviously it is still pretty new) relationship. I introduced him into my kids' lives gradually over the course of our relationship and I think we handled all that pretty well. I think I was sensative to my kids. They like him, but have been a little slow in warming up and there have been some issues here and there, but nothing more than I would expect.
Anyway, he has stayed over a couple of times when my kids were home. I know some of you won't agree with this and that's ok. Last night, my 14 year old heard us having sex and was furious. He even woke up my 10 year old, (which in my book was not an ok thing for him to do). He actually pounded on my door - he was that mad. We were not being loud (I was trying to be really quiet actually) , but obviously he could hear the bed squeak or something.
To make a long story short, I went down to talk to both kids. I explained that I was very sorry that they heard that and that I had not meant for it to happen. I also told them that when mature adults love each other and are committed to one another, it is a normal thing to have sex.
Today, my 10 year old seemed almost fine. I will talk with her about it again. My 14 year old could be another story. He still seems very distant. I'm wondering how other people handle these situations...or just how people who have moved on and into new relationships balance thier needs with thier children's needs. My kids have had 100% of my attention for so long, that they aren't adapting well. Thanks