My husband died before I found out he cheated on me

[Rosienyc]

Hang in there. It gets better. I know it is hard to understand but this was not about you. It was about him and his low self-esteem. He was a broken Prince Charming whose ego was too fragile to deal with a real woman who needed no rescue so he went found himself a princess to rescue. The fact that she was a stripper tells you every thing you need to know about how he saw himself as a stripper is not somebody "you bring home to momma".

[Rosienyc]

Italiaicemaiden: Find yourself a real, secure man with a healthy ego who can handle the queen you are. Princesses need rescuing. You do not. Prince Charmings are usually weak men who need somebody weaker so they can feel good about themselves. You need a real man, not a fragile, weak prince.

[Passionaterose]

September 18 2019
I was with my fiance for 14 years and 3 beautiful children.I knew we had our issues like any other couples but I never ever thought he was cheating.He was a active father. He always told me he loved me and also was always wanting intimacy. My fiance was murdered by the other womans boyfriend. I had to learn of his infidelity through the police. I'm so hurt I thought we were better than this. He always promised me that he would never do things like this. Because things like this brakes up family's. It's only been three weeks since his passing and I feel lost he use to take care of the majority of the bills and now everything is on me. Not to mention that he might have a child with this other person. And having to tell my kids about the cercomstanc of why there dad's not with us anymore. I'm sad I'm angry I'm lonely I feel betrayed like I wasted my best years on a lair and a cheater. I just keep asking myself was any of this real or was our family just a joke to him. So many questions I will never get answers to. It's sad how society glorifies being side chick because they don't understand or care how their damaging relationships, family's, and children. I appreciate everyone for being brave enough to share these stories because it has made me feel not so alone in this grieving process.

Bot · Just now.

[Betrayed]

My husband that had had a midlife crisis that lasted 2 years (2015 and 2016) and moved out then back had said he was really committed to making things work with Gods help. We had been back in church since start of 2017. He started having extreme pain June 2017 and was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer that had metastasized to his liver, spine and bone marrow. He was only going to be 48 so Dr was hopeful he would be one of the 5% that survived....after 3 rounds of 3 day chemo treatments (after staying in the hospital 2 weeks the first time and 1 week the 2ndto try to control his pain), the pet scan showed it had not changed at all. All we could do was bring in hospice. I stayed with him every day and night in the hospital, plus tried to help the manager of our 3 very in debt businesses, and find funding for his treatment since we had no insurance. Then after chemo was stopped, took him to his home town to see his family 7 hours away and less than 2 weeks later fly with him to his best friends place in Florida from Texas with him in a wheelchair and me carrying 2 huge bags of meds and other necessities. He died about a week after we returned on the same day and date (a Friday before Thanksgiving Nov. 17th).
as my 4 month old baby boy had 28 years before from SIDS
(My first marriage). Did his eulogy, memorial and obituary myself and it was perfect) and memorialized his fb page as well as our business pages. I spent the next 18 months dealing with the debt of the 3 businesses, customers, papers, equipment, sold it 3/4ths below value so it wouldnt foreclose, had to move from our 1700 sq ft house to an 800 sq foot rental. Sold things and gave away things I never thought I would. Lost my 20 year old maltipoo and my best friend 6 months into the 18. Took some his ashes to LSU right by the football stadium where we spent some of our greatest times including his last ever game when we saw his family. Went by myself this year to see his dying mawmaw , who he loved so much, in hospice. Made the 7 hour one way trip, and then again 2 days later home.

Now almost right before what would have been his 50th
birthday, I find out he was having an affair while he was telling be he loved me and sitting by me in church and listening to bible apps with me. My last 9 months with him (after forgiving him for the hell of the last 2 years) was nothing. Over 20 of my best years wasted, and this isnt even the tip of all I supported him thru.

Oh and did I mention, I did it all while having Multiple Sclerosis?!

[bonbon]

Happy 46 years married when he died 6 years ago. 2 years ago I learned off his betrayals. It still haunts me. The whys what if’s. Weird to learn he tried to be a fantasy person to so many women. Also the stupidity of women who have online affairs and believe they are in love or when a man says I am separated but live with my wife. Some one who accepts seeing someone 2 hours a week. Sorry just venting

[p1955]

VENTING is healing.

[bonbon]

I wish venting helped

[Landa1]

Hi everyone I keep coming back and rereading these post. I can’t believe you all have similar stories to mine. The difference is that my husband was a alive when I caught him cheating. He denied Everything of course and only a couple weeks later he died. Ignorance was bliss. The woman he was having an affair with has taken to social media and has one picture of him and her and is posting it wherever she can. Funny how she is doing it after his death but when he was alive and I confronted her she denied the affair. Now she tells me they were together for two years. Two years!!! How could I have been that blind! While I’m heartbroken I find myself still going to his grave and maintaining it. I can’t go forward with my life. I can’t believe that my husband would lie to me. I don’t want to believe it. He was my life. I believe people make mistakes and that she was his mistake. I can’t believe that he was with her for two years, months maybe but not two years. His closest friends didn’t even know about her. Any advice to help me move on I’m 40 years old.

[blossoms]

My father died over a month ago. Today, my mom informed me that she had read an old conversation between my dad and another girl, exposing their affair. Seeing her cry made my heart break, but I can't even imagine how more painful this is for her. We keep trying to connect the dots... to figure out when this all happened. 2016? 2013? My mom is obviously upset and wants to know what she did to for him to do this to her. I keep telling her that none of this is her fault. She's amazing. She went above and beyond in their marriage. I'm angry. We're angry. It's so hard to overlook this... even when he's gone.

[blossoms]

My mom found out about my dad's affair a month after his death. She is heartbroken and devastated. Seeing her like this makes me so sad. She gave him everything. She was always there for him in ways that he could never 'repay' her. -- Seeing my mom try to figure out when everything started and how he found the time to do it is absolutely hard to see. There was this one instance when we went on a family vacation in 2016... my mom and dad got in a fight so me, my mom, and sibling all went to my mom's side of the family. We stayed with them for three days. Looking back at it, my dad was all alone in the condo... That could've been a chance for them to meet up. Three days! During this same vacation, my mom was admitted to the hospital when her friends visited her... At the end of the night, my dad offered them a ride. He didn't get back until early morning... He used giving them a ride as an excuse and of course, Manila traffic, to meet up with his mistress....All while my mom was in the hospital.

Apparently back in Dec. 2018, my dad messaged a mutual friend asking about his mistress... so know that they were broken up that time, since they were no longer speaking. My dad did mention something really hurtful though. He said to his friend, "I really do love her." Reading that makes me so mad!!! How could you say that when my mom has done everything for you?!!!!! We never saw this coming. My dad was messed up in so many ways, but I never knew that he could betray my mom like this. In July 2018, he broke his foot. My mom dropped everything all at once for him... Took off from work and took care of him. Who would think that just 5 months after, he would confess to his friend that he still loved his mistress.

My mom faced heart problems in 2017. It was literally a life or death situation for her then. Why didn't my dad break it off with the mistress then?! My mom keeps thinking about this, and I can't help but think about it as well. How could he do this to her?! To his family!!!

In March 2019, my mom asked for a divorce (not because of infidelity, she didn't know then!). He didn't want to because he said he loved my mom, he didn't want a broken family... He said he loved us all. My mom stuck with him. In August 2019, my dad had a heart attack. My mom once again dropped everything to take care of him. Growing up, I really did see the love my mom had for my dad. She was her everything. She was loyal. She took care of our family, she went above and beyond as a wife and mother. In March 2020, my dad died of a hemorrhage stroke. A month later, we found out of his affair. Until now.... after finding about his betrayal... my mom still continues to pray for him, fix his memorial table, etc.