42 years together and today he walks out. I wanted our marriage to work. I longed for him to see his mistake and show remorse. All I got were denials, lies, he kept seeing his AP and then blamed it all on me. At first, yes I am guilty of wanting to shame him. But, I knew that was not the right thing to do. I had questions though and he saw it as me trying to bring shame on him. He misunderstood what I needed. He refused counseling and made a joke about it. He's thrown all the blame for his affair on me. There is never a good reason to cheat on your wife. I own my part of neglecting his needs. On the other hand, I am raising our special needs grandson since birth and he offered no help there. I had needs, too. It's become all about him and everything I did wrong that drove him to another woman. I have never hurt so bad in my life. Then add his attitude towards me on top, just adds more pain. I didn't yell and scream at him. I always tried to approach him in a non-confrontational manner. Nothing worked. He is determined to blame me for everything that has gone wrong in our marriage. I wanted our marriage to work. I didn't want a divorce. It was another cowardly act on his part to make me look like the villain so he could leave without remorse. This is a very sad day for me. But I will survive this. I am 62 years old and I'm starting over. Everything we have built together is shattered. It didn't have to be that way.