My goodness! It sounds like you've been through the wringer & clearly taken advantage of.
Where to begin? Im so sleepy. I haven't gone to bed yet. I've been an insomniac lately due to several home invasions in our area - one family was brutally murdered, the most horrifically haunting & heartbreaking story.
Yes, I am completely serious. May God bless their precious souls.
Aside from that living nightmare, I've been burning the midnight oil studing law, as we've found ourselves to be in several unfortunate legal situations ourselves (our troubles are mainly due to beaurocratic bullying - when those vested with power oppress the people they were entrusted to protect).
Although I am certainly NOT a law expert in any way, shape or form, pursuing YOUR income, in addition to your husband's alimony payments sounds unconstitutional, to say the least.
(I think I should refer to your husband's ex as "Mom". "Her" is very generic and can convey negative undertones. I don't want to be "that woman" - that woman that talks bad about other women.)
"Mom's" lawyer must have had to search the law books with a fine tooth comb to get away with that. I'd be interested in seeing which law was cited in her deposition/affadavit.
In my (limited) experience (and I say this with the utmost respect for attorneys), I've found that defense & civil attorney's are experts at outwitting their pro se apponents with procedural aspects of the law more than with the law itself...
What I mean is (I'll use a pretend person named Bob to demonstrate this example), even if the law is on Bob's side, the judge may not rule in Bob's favor because of minor technicalities re: the legal process (e.g. a paper wasn't filed at a certain time; Bob failed to say all that he needed to say to the judge because he didn't know it was his turn to speak; Bob failed to find that tiny clause that would bring him justice because it's buried in a law library that he doesn't know how to navigate; etc.)
Sometimes, attorneys confuse their less experienced pro se opponents with their knowledge of the procedural aspects of the law & they win, even when they shouldn't.
I wish it was as simple as the truth standing on its own two feet.
It's not my place to say what should or should not have happened during the hearing/trial that led to the garnishment of your wages (see? it even sounds weird), but based on what you've shared, paying such an excessive amount of your income to Mom does raise some questions, especially considering her income.
Forgive me, but I can't imagine what it must be like to live in her brain or in her shoes. It's not my place to judge, but she strikes me as one that is "always seeking but never satisfied" ...too busy turning her attention outward instead of inward...always searching for her "missing peace"...not realizing everything she ever needed was "inside" her all along... shattered, but inside, none the less.
Mom's just gotta pick up the pieces and put 'em back together - "assuming that she was ever whole to begin with" (most of us aren't).
She's gonna need a sh*t load of super glue!
There's no shame in that. I've superglued myself to ALL kinds of things time and time again - both literally & figuratively!
I built the kids a little model town on top of one of our old school tables one Christmas. I super glued wooden blocks that looked like community buildings to the top of it & painted the roads and sidewalks. Throughout the several months that it took me to make it, the kids got so used to seeing me with things superglued to myself that they just stopped paying attention to it after a while & accepted it as one of my many colorful quirks!
"Oh, dont mind me!" I'd say. "I just super glued myself... to myself again."
I felt like such a fool one day - I had a wooden fire station superglued to my hand during parent pick up time, but then my 17 yr old son came home and said, "Don't worry, Mom. I think you're absolutely adorable!"
Somehow, that made it all better!
There I was, a school teacher, who'd built a little school inside of her house...walking around with pens and paintbrushes stuck up in her hair...with a roll of Scotch tape & a Sharpie sticking out of her bra and a roll of duct tape around her wrist..while tip toeing around in a pair of mismatched canvas slip on shoes... little wooden schoolhouses dangling from super glue all over herself!
Anyway, as lovely as the "kraggle" can be (sorry, Lego movie reference), there's only ONE kind of superglue that can mend Mom's broken heart back together & that's GOD. Hasn't she ever seen "Diary of a Mad Black Women"? Lol. (Everybody needs a dose of Madea every once in a while!)
There I go telling stories again (back to the point)...
Our business qualifies as a non-profit org. We provide early education & care services to families from our town & surrounding communities - primary low income families and children with mild to moderate special needs. We get the kids that nobody else wants to take the time to understand.
I never intended on starting a little farm school for children out of our house, but by the grace of God it took on a life of it's own & it's a beautiful thing. On the down side, with little to no funding available to programs like ours, the majority of our business income will forever go towards goes keeping the program running. Although we're college educated, highly qualified & work 12-15 hour days, after business expenses, there isn't even enough to pay us minimum wage for the hours that we work. It's been a work of heart, to say the least.
We've raised our 4 children (and have helped to raise many others) with not much more than pennies in our pockets, a bunch of glue sticks, a few broken shovels, my grandmother's old stockings full of sunflower seeds & a boatload of love and determination! To say that we've lived below the poverty line is an understatement. There have been times when we've had to go without some of the most basic necessities of life...I can't IMAGINE having 200,000 as an annual salary - if you can call money that someone else has earned (yours) a salary. I'd weep if we had even 1/3 of that to live on consistently. The funny thing is, we've adapted to living off so little for so long that we'd probably end up giving alot of it away!
Well, enough about me...You're the only one who can decide which battles are worth fighting for. If you're living comfortably enough with all of those deductions and feel your peace of mind is more valuable than pursuing a modification to your husband's alimony payments, then that's your choice to make.
On the other hand, if you feel as though Mom is using your money irresponsibly, it would probably be in everyone's best interest for you to hire an experienced civil or family law attorney as soon as possible and reclaim what is rightfully yours. Mom's just going to have to learn to count her blessings & live within her means. Besides, "What doesn't kill ya makes ya stronger!" (cue Kelley Clarkson).
Besides, once the court order is modified and your earnings are directed back to you, you could always set up a special account to deposit the money into for the children's future.
(My grandmother did that for me. I gave her $40 per week when I moved into her house after I graduated from high school. It was supposed to go towards my living expenses. Little did I know, she was saving it for me all along - tucking it away in a little envelope in her desk drawer. I love her. I loved her before this lifetime & I'll love her in lifetime's after this.)
I'm glad that my posts have helped you somehow. Yours have helped me, too.