Karma? You Reap what you sow?

Let me digress just a little if you don’t mind. I left saying I don’t care if you kill me I am leaving. He had fallen in love with the ow, or so he said. He set me up to come to the house, and he had her there. As I wept she was full of confidence she was his queen, and she did not care if she was in my home. She stood before me bold, and let me know I was the intruder, as she slept in my marriage bed taking over my home.

My marriage was one of abuse, and cheating. If it had not been for the ow I’m sure I would still be there. I am thankful to her for this. As I read my diaries I noticed a pattern, about every two years we went through a cycle of cheating—the abuse continued always. I would get fed up, and make plans to leave. After a time he would straighten around,and the marriage would get better. When he was good he was oh so good, but when he was bad he was evil. Now, up to last week. I was talking with my daughter-in-law,and she told me how beautiful I am.

I have changed. I’m losing weight, but most of all I’m healing. I have a very contagious laugh, and most of all I am truly happy. Then my daughter-in-law said to me, “I don’t know if I should tell you this, butttttt the ow is always saying how ugly she is.” This is new. God forgive me; yes, she is ugly, but that did not affect her before. When I heard this my heart sank, because I remember those feelings.I remember the abuse, and hating myself. I remember thinking if I were more beautiful—I remember.

My face tells my feelings, and my daughter-in-law said,“Don’t feel sorry for her. This is what happens when you mess with a married man.” She is right, but I cannot help but feel sorrow for her.They have been together a little over two years, because they moved in with each other before our divorce was final—long before it was final. So I am assuming he still has the same old patterns. They truly are none of my concern I know this. Yet, no woman deserves abuse—no one. All I can do is pray for her if what I think is happening that God some how will give her back her boldness to leave, but I doubt she does.

Like I said, when he is good he is oh so good, but when he is bad he is evil. How do you get involved with a married man like my ex? He is very handsome, and makes very good money. He can turn on the charm, and make you feel so special. I know I stayed for thirty-eight years. I am also sure he told her horror stories about me. Now, she maybe living the nightmare that I lived, and pray I never live again.

Funny when I was first going through my divorce I prayed for the day that I could say, if only to myself, see you do reap what you sow. Yet,I find no pleasure in this–only sorrow. Keep her in your prayers she maybe living out my long lost nightmares. Maybe I’m wrong if so I wish them well. Lesson learned. How careful we must be in what we do to others in this life.

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Hopefully she is not going through the same garbage. Abusers suck, but little miss smug or any marriage stealer doesn’t deserve to be abused. It is bad enough that those that have been abuse are so often left for no more reason than they get tired of not getting kicked to the curb. I really believe bullies are just looking for someone to say knock it off. Of course this is after many years of marriage to a bully and hindsight might not be 20/20 but it does teach those that are willing to study the game film.Time has allowed you to get over some of the hurt, and that is a good thing. Little miss princess now has to deal with your ex, as much as it may hurt to reach out to her, let it go. Should she reach out to you, then let your findings be known and advise her to get out NOW. Sadly, the ow’s happiness is not your concern. You have a life to live, live it well. Be well.

Sjg,Did you ever hear the song Killing me softly with his song by Roberta Flack…well that is what you have written about my life with my ex…killing me softly…telling my life with his words…you spoke of my life with your words…and I will say thank you from my heart!If Jennifer was not in the house…I know I would still be there…he needs a woman there…she gave me the release I needed to leave the abuse behind…Glad you are happy…feel it inside…a peaceful feeling…like you are finally breathing again…keep taking care of you…and keep posting and blogging here…karma or whatever is no longer on your mind…you are finding …you know what…my life is pretty good now…hugs to you and keep moving on…we care about you!!!

The truth sets us free…out from under the depression and oppression of those who hate us causes us to bloom in love-God’s love for us, our self-love, and the love of those who are there for us…there is a way that seems right to man but it ends in death…those who live in the denial of self-centeredness never get it, it’s not our job to try to save them, only Jesus can do that…we just keep silent and let the glow of our ability to love speak for itself…the love of God within us draws men to Him, not ourselves…Vanity goes with self-centeredness, the ow could be using this trick to get confirmation of her looks from your daughter-in-law: it’s a backward way of confirming your pride…manipulation.Godly sorrow leads to a turning around and walking away from the source of corruption–requires coming out of denial and choosing to humbly accept the truth and reality of our condition as God sees it…sorry, don’t see that here…appreciate your sorrow for the situation, it is an insult to a holy God of love, and think your heart is beginning to be filled with gratitude for God rescuing and restoring you and your life-leave it at that…keep yourself separated from the corruption and don’t become victim to those who can’t see beyond their powdered nose.compassion yes, that is the right response, but it is with full awareness that the freedom of choice has been used to serve self-centeredness, not love…love is wise, strong, and aware of man’s condition, and love hates pride.