Is it too late to change my mind? Why did my mind change?

I wanted the divorce. He didn’t, in fact he tried to reconcile many times. I thought that it was an absolute decision. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind this is what I wanted. July 27th will mark a year since the divorce was final. I’ve had a relationship since. He was actually a live in so pretty serious. We broke up a week and a half ago. Since my breakup with my BF I’ve been thinking. It feels like I’ve had a total change of heart. A lot of the problems that I blamed my Ex husband for I realize were partly my fault. I’ve even sent him a couple of emails apologizing for all the things I did or didn’t do. Also, for blaming him for all the problems in our 16 year marriage. I’d actually thought that I was ready to give us another go. He too is in a pretty serious relationship. But, I thought that he would still want to rebuild our family. This weekend we are supposed to take our kids school shopping together. I have really been looking forward to it. I haven’t told him how I’m feeling about us. Until I was thoroughly sure that’s what I want, I didn’t want to say anything. His gf is really nice and I like her. So I don’t want to break them up on a whim. Plus I don’t want to confuse our kids by us getting back together just to break up again. Today we were finalizing the weekend plans since he lives 4 hours away. That’s when he told me that he had asked his gf to marry him. It felt like I’d been punched in the gut. Now I don’t know what to do. I have to go spend time with them this weekend and pretend that I’m not dying inside. Would love some advice.

It seems to me you do know that the right thing to do is letting him be happy in this new opportunity he is giving to himself. Also, I wouldn’t rule out that since you just broke a couple weeks ago, the feelings you think you have now towards your ex may just be some sort of rebound thing. Let him go.

As a man who tried reconciling with my wife before she submitted for divorce. I would ask you to let him know your feelings. Tell him, let him decide what he wants. Maybe his current girlfriend is only making him happy now to cover the memories you both have together.

Just be straight forward and tell him. Even if you fear regection. Tell him, release what’s been building up inside, whether his ego will boost from knowing you want him back or not, getting it off your chest and mind is the best thing you can do. I wouldn’t wait, you still have a chance. He’s engaged yes, but he’s not remarried yet. Only until the priest says, “Does anyone object or impose this marriage, forever speak now or forever hold your peace”, you still have a chance. But once he’s married, then and only then will I say, “maybe it’s time to move on”.

I hate people who don’t have hope and just say “let him go or move on.” They obviously don’t hear about the success stories and people coming back together. So keep hope, and good luck with everything.

Take care.

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