I think my wife (still not STBX, fingers crossed) is having a midlife crisis. I asked her, and showed her one or two articles that listed symptoms, but she says "No, that not it" Of course I knew that is what she would say. She says she has been unhappy for a while, I see that, I have always been the first to admit, I neglected my wife for a year. Did not see me doing it, but I did.
One of the reasons I did not know she was "unhappy", for that entire time, we still were intimate 4-5 times a week. I know it may not mean anything to the ladies, but to a guy, if it's happening, everythings OK. Anyways, back to my point. She says "Part of me will always love you, I'm just not in love", she has talked about a boob lift, she has said she would like to get permanent makeup. She has (in the last year) four new tattoos. Flirting with men online, provacative pictures of herself on some websites (since removed), emotional affair, sexting, a new interest in sexy high heel shoes, said she is not sure she even wants to be married anymore, needs her space to figure things out, wants space from the kids to work on school, very much dedicated to diet and exercise.
Plus the complete 180 with me, cold, no love at all, sometimes it feels like she will not let herself try. In fact she even told me she is not sure she wants to try. I talked to a friend who knows both of us pretty well, and he said "That is not (wife), it seems like an alien took her and dropped off this other person instead." But, we can get together, and if we keep it off of the "serious" stuff, we will laugh and joke. She says I am still her best friend. She kisses me goodbye.
Othertimes she tells me, she does not enjoy spending time with me, and does not miss me when I am gone. Look I know I am pretty naive about a lot of things, but this one has really got me, are my emotions keeping me from seeing the truth. Even if this is a mid life crisis, there is no promise we will get through it, it is just a reason, something that makes sense in all of this. And one more thing, she was scheduled for some one on one therapy, but had to re-schedule, and has not done so yet, two weeks later. Cannot force her to!