Wow it is nice to not feel so alone in being alone....though truly how I feel, I wish on no other person, not even my ex. Terrible feeling to have had someone in your life for so long and then so terribly empty. How I miss stroking her long fine hair, or having her feet on my lap and massaging them through a movie. I miss having someone to dote on and build things for and sitting talking about at first lame ideas and turning them into eventually really cool reality. I am passing through divorce at present from someone I have devote my life to for 25 years. She again committed adultery on me, utterly sacking our liquidity and finances, leaving me heavily in debt, (save the home and retirement fund) telling lies for years leaving me fending alone for our 4 kids still at home. I pulled things together and pressed on hoping she would turn around, but it seems like this is not going to happen now, nor ever was this time around. Finally facing reality and pulling myself together, as one must, for the bigger pictures sake. She left the country to be with her new BF a few years ago an internet affair, but all this has only come to light, it was all kept very secret, though one could obviously be not ignorant something was likely going on. After so many years with a bunch of kids, one keeps the door open for common sense to return, but not this time...it is over for good. The 3 biggest are disgusted with their mother and given her the heave ho permanently. Deep down I am also beginning to respect myself and do feel I deserve far better out of the next 25 years of my life. There are surely lovely kind, honest, moral and ethical people, perhaps one day I will reforge a trusted relationship and this time it will go the full distance. For now it is very hard to be alone when they have found a new love and got on with their life. I was a kind husband and sacrificed a great deal to build as near as I could a happy prosperous home, but I am sure she was never able to appreciate what I brought to the table as hard as I worked. Now with immense gratitude, I get the kids, the bills, the mortgage and working my tail off with no alimony at all from her. Still she is not exactly in heaven either, as her new bloke has given her some very new lessons on moving from a very nice upper middle class A/C suburb on the beach, back to the working class and something of an unheated shack. Unlike with me, now she has to work very hard, but says she is happy. Last time we spoke, her face was ashen gray, she had aged terribly and looked terribly ill kempt, teeth broken. She was prior a very sharp well dressed, gorgeous looking lady. AS we spoke she began to light up and I think she had forgotten how very rich life can be, with a genuine, nurturing and caring person. Still it is time to let go....and having a lot of trouble putting the paperwork together now, but know I have to really get myself to work and cut this last trace of contact as efficiently as I can. Settlement will fall substantially in my favor, so the only decision left is go for broke with a lawyer, or settle out with her to an agreed sum. I appreciate despite the hell at different points in our marriage she has transacted and particularly the last bit, I know she has done some work (not a lot) but deserves to walk away with something. The fact she also broke up her new BFs marriage as he did he ours (so partners in crime) makes me think to roll up my sleeves and let the lawyers do their worst. They seem to think it will be a bloodbath in our favor. I am really stuck between a rock and a hard place. Clearly I still care for someone who does not care a damn about any of my kids or their futures. Both teens and the older children she walked away from, so not just me either. You input would be gratefully received. I have done everything to bring her back but found out just very recently that one of the reasons she did not perhaps??? return is that shortly after she flew out of the country, to this new affair, she fell pregnant to this character. It was all kept hush hush and she used me for years to keep her in accommodation and food, while he got rid of his present wife and child and finally they could move in with each other. In fact the birthdate of her new child calculated back indicates she was pregnant within a week of arriving. No it was definitely not my child, intimacy ended well prior to her leaving, as she was locking the door telling me she was just so depressed, but was in fact just having an online affair all along. Receipts this week checked show she was up to no good prior to leaving... She spent $138 for laser hair removal the day before she flew out. Oh yippee, some feral and no protection from disease or pregnancy. She was spending my money taking him out to dinner in the early stages, but weaned back as the funds started to dry up my end and I put her on a budget. I kept her in a hotel room and some money for food and bits and pieces, while she worked her internet business to make the few extra dollars to stay alive.
Little did I know she was pregnant with another man's child. It was hand to mouth for her for years, while that scum kept her quiet (was not even there for the birth of the child) and finally screwed his 2nd wife out of the home and out of any alimony, keeping my wife and the new baby that was born to him totally secret. His name is not even on the birth certificate. Real quality guy! To be replaced by such scum....does not do a lot of good for one's ego, let me tell you. This is the woman that could not take her child to ballet, but would berate me when I was busy at work, and she would have to do not the entire run, but half the trip, to rendezvous with me half way. Now that is something I do not miss, let me tell you. I was unknowingly supporting them for 2 and half years, thinking my wife just deeply depressed and worrying she could in a fit of desperation commit suicide or do something stupid. Fortunately as all this fired off, the kind Lord looked down and I had a new job to start and I have worked like dog to secure our future since and now on very good money. I hope now it lasts through this last phase. It is tight each week, but some of the credit card debts she added have now been paid off and debt is half gone now, I am securing my kids and my future every day a little more. I am doing my best to inspire my kids and have them in college and university now and opening up a solid future for them
That is my story. Be very interesting to get some feedback, if anyone would be so kind.
My online name is: Go.
