I love my stepdaughter and I'm being punished because of it

I have a beautiful relationship with my stepdaughter and while we’re both in a great, loving spot… her mom does not like that, and does everything she can to alienate me. I do not interfere when it comes to parental decisions, but I do involve myself when it comes to school work, recitals, night time routines, etc.

I’ve noticed, that every time my husband and I pick her up, my stepdaughter is distant and cold. We try and give her space to allow the shifting to naturally happen, but recently we found out that she tries to make her mom happy and being happy with us makes her mom upset.

So now, I’m learning to try and keep my distance, but this is not healthy when it comes to the kids as they should feel loved by all that are a big part of their lives. Not sure how to handle… because I love my stepdaughter so much, but the mom has made it clear that I am to be as far away as possible.

I’m so sorry to read this. Years ago, I met my husband’s eldest and she gave me a big, warm loving hug. We hit it off. For days she indicated via text messages, email and over the phone how she wanted to see me again. During that time, her mother sent a scathing email character bashing me even though we had not ever met. Never would I have replaced her mother or even try to be the mother.

I even placed this in writing … that I would be here for the mother at any time and for any reason if she needed me to help or assist with anything.

Sadly, and within days the eldest daughter ceased all communication regardless of knowing her mother was unjustified in her actions.

When one person turns toxic and insecure for no reason, the entire family suffers.