I have a beautiful relationship with my stepdaughter and while we're both in a great, loving spot... her mom does not like that, and does everything she can to alienate me. I do not interfere when it comes to parental decisions, but I do involve myself when it comes to school work, recitals, night time routines, etc.
I've noticed, that every time my husband and I pick her up, my stepdaughter is distant and cold. We try and give her space to allow the shifting to naturally happen, but recently we found out that she tries to make her mom happy and being happy with us makes her mom upset.
So now, I'm learning to try and keep my distance, but this is not healthy when it comes to the kids as they should feel loved by all that are a big part of their lives. Not sure how to handle... because I love my stepdaughter so much, but the mom has made it clear that I am to be as far away as possible.