I asked for a divorce, but now I am unsure of whether I want one or not

We haven’t spoken since I moved out in December 2017. Waiting for my Decree Nisi, but I am still constantly thinking about my husband, crying, ‘regretting’…I don’t want to be selfish and disturb his life, he seems to be ok without me. I don’t know what to do. He hasn’t tried to reach out to me once, so, shall I just move on?

Best thing to do is talk to him about it if you really miss him that much but in my honest opinion if he wanted you back he would have contacted you . You really need to ask yourself why you miss him sincerely. Is it just loneliness? What made you leave him in the first place??

@Brituk I’m so sorry you are suffering :frowning: Yes you should move on for your future happiness but that isn’t easy to do and you are grieving right now.

Get yourself a regular counselor to help you work through this. Find someone who specializes in post divorce issues and depression.

Even if your husband tried to reconcile you moved out for a reason. Focus on that. Those issues would just come back again and with a vengeance because it’s likely he is also very angry. I had an aunt who divorced and married one of her husband’s 3x out of her 7 marriages. In the end she found someone very different. There was a lot of passion and anger but that’s not what keeps a marriage stable and long lasting.

Good Luck and (((Hugs)))

Thank you! It’s just so hard, today would have been my 2 year wedding anniversary and it just kills me to know that we had something good that ended like this and it hurts because his anger makes it feel like the 4 years we were together he regrets and hates

Thank you for your advice

It’s nearing our 2 year wedding anniversary and my 30th, so I think these ‘dates’ are bringing up a lot of memories for me.
I messaged him and asked if he could give me some time to sign the absolute decree and he said no and got mad and said that this is what I wanted.

I left him for so many reasons (too many to list). He never treated me badly and it was a ‘minor’ issue, but for some reason it just wouldn’t resolve, he kept saying he will change and when I threatened divorce he said he’d seek therapy, so I went to my mothers for 2 months for some distance and when I returned for a talk, he had only been to therapy twice and I didn’t feel like he tried enough.

I still love him and I think I always will.

@brituk I’m so sorry :frowning:

You will make it. There may be something else going on with him that you are unaware of. He may have moved on emotionally or with another person while you guys were getting some space. It sounds to me like you’ve done everything to try and reconcile. At this point you can’t force it. Try reading through some of Tracy Cabot’s Love advice to see if anything resonates with you and helps. The link is http://www.loveadvice.com/ARTICLES/LETGO.HTM

Its a sad situation. If he has not reached out since Dec, as sad as it is, I think its time to move on. Get help, reach out to people, be with people if you can, try to go out and have fun and enjoy life a little bit. Travel abroad if you can, or just go somewhere close, but change the scenery. If you have kids, arrange babysitting and go out and try to enjoy life. I think its OK to think about him and miss him, and even cry, but as time goes on, pain will subside. I am going trough the same right now… 10 months apart, 13 months old baby and he doesn’t care. I filed for divorce and a sole custody. I miss him and cry often, in front of my baby or alone. And I asked my Dr for Celexa prescription :). Whatever it takes to get through this, but you need to take care of yourself. And pray. There will be other, better men, much better than him, and you will like them too, maybe even fall in love again, even if it doesn’t seem like that right now … you cry and your chest hurts, but you will be OK.