I am on the fence about divorce

I’ve been married 11 years and we have 3 young kids under 10. My husband has very little patience these days. He will throw things or break things when he gets mad atleast 2xyear. He is normally easy going and I think he holds things inside and keeps it bottled up until it explodes. I am a stay at home mom with no career and I have no idea how I could support my kids if I divorce him. Also the thought of them being away from me 50% of there childhood saddens me . I think I love my husband as a person and for all the sacrifices he’s made for us but I cannot respect him and I’m not in love with him . I used to wait for him to get home and be super excited but these days I just wait for him to leave and feel some relief from his negativity. I don’t want to be selfish and break the family apart but he refuses counseling and says if we need counseling then we might as well be done for good. Anyone input /advice would be appreciated.

FIRST…get counseling. Yourself. YOU need to be able to get thru what is going on.
If he is THAT against counseling…then as a guy I think he is hiding something.
What that is…only he knows.

You are not being selfish by wanting to protect yourself and kids from this anger.

Im actually in a similar situation. but I just filed for divorce. He is in a relationship with someone. He recently came around and told me he loved me and doesn’t want to split. I do love my husband very dearly but honestly he has cheated on me for over 10yrs. What makes this moment so different from the rest the fact I want to walk away. I dont know if I should go through with it or give it one last try. he feels as though therapy wont help us.we have been on and off for the past yr. Finally after I start the divorce words of how we feel about each other are coming out. Atleast on my part I truly do love him through the good and bad but im honestly afraid that hes just playing another go at it so that I dont move on from this tragic relationship.What do I do? He admits to his wrong and says he was wrong and immature. He also blames my assumptions about what he does when I’m not around but so far my assumptions have always proven me right so I dont know what to think am wrong for wanting to work on my marriage after so many infidelities. Is it best i walk away. the theory of once a player always a player actually true. I dont want to waste my time but I dont want to give up if hes actually wanting to work on us.

He is not longer IN LOVE with you…he loves you but no respect.
PLS know that he will not change…ONLY thing that is happening is that you are being told daily thru actions that he doesn’t want you. THAT will effect you deeply.
After awhile you will begin to feel that you are not worthy of being loved.

DON’T stay.

Here I am 7 months later and still going through the same thing. He’s broken a cabinet door in just the last month when arguing with our oldest. He doesn’t see it as a big deal. He says that’s what’s going to happen when his kids don’t listen to him. I’m trying to make it until tax filing day and my sons surgery consult and then I’m gone. However my kids can never get away from him. He’s been yelling at me all morning because he wants to move our small business into a expensive place to rent and I basically told him I cannot work with you and your explosions anymore which only set him off more. He’s an impossible person and refuses to listen when I try to bring up seperation/divorce. I’m sad my kids cannot leave and I feel like I’m neglecting them by making them spend anytime with him especially when I’m not around. He’s draining me so bad-one more month is all I can keep thinking.