My husband’s ex-wife has to be in the middle of everything. She and him had mutual friends that they had Friday dinner with until 4 years ago when they separated and started the divorce. They took turns and went every other Friday. I was introduced 3 years ago and went with my now husband every other Friday on his week. The past 3 months, his ex-wife decided every other week was not good enough for her and started coming to our Friday dinners as well. The mutual friends said they were ok with it if we were. My husband is too nice for his own good. This woman tore his heart out and cheated on him multiple times. He is a Christian man and would never do anything spiteful or seek revenge, so he grins and bears it. If I mention that I don’t want to go because she is there, he gets sad because he wants us to spend time with our friends and that’s kind of become a thing. The problem is that his ex continually does and says things to get to both of us and knows he won’t say anything and especially not in front of our friends. She doesn’t want him back. She’s made that clear, but she acts like she’s afraid she will miss something or be left out of something if she doesn’t stick her nose in. She is constantly texting him with “problems” around the house. “how do I fix this?” “What type of insert word here do I use for that?” “Who do I contact to fix…” and so on and so on. She will contact him about their GROWN children. Their 2 adult children are grown and married and have children of their own and she feels the need to contact him and ask what he’s getting them their birthday or Christmas and do they want to go in together on a bigger present. I’ve gotten to where I can’t stand to see her face or hear her name. Because of a wedding and a couple of birthdays, I had to see here and with here 4 days in a row recently. It’s unbearable and I’m afraid it’s going to eventually poison our marriage. I excuse myself to restroom and cry because I don’t want to seem like the hateful one that wants her out of the way. When I come back, she’s always following closely to him and I. I don’t understand it. She constantly talks about the people she is dating and all the fun trips she goes on. So, if she really is doing all of this, why not move on with your life? She is the one that caused and asked for the divorce. Now she acts like “we” are a family. I can’t take much more of it. I didn’t marry her. I married him. She needs to go.
Get your husband into counseling or maybe a talk with his pastor. It will rip your marriage apart if it continues. After years of this “friendship” you may be in for an uphill battle.