Husband is threatening to take the kids

[lavelle]

This morning my husband asked me if I was gonna file for full custody and I said that is whats best for the klids. I have been a stay at home mom for 6yrs and I have done everything as well as care for our special needs child. He goes on to threaten that I am making the biggest mistake of my life that he will not see his kids every other weekend that he is going to say I am emotionally unstable because I have suffered from depression. But I have been in therapy ever since he came home and said he didnt love me any more and wanted out and a divorce.

My husband works 6 days a week and sometimes 75 hours a week he has never been involved in theses kids lives the way I have. He said by the time we go to court he will have a different job so he can get the kids and I cautioned him to think about whats best for the kids you dont and have never had the time nor been in charge of their care. He is telling me how stupid I am and that It will be me that sees the kids every other weekend.

He says just because he has “allowed” me to stay home with the kids thats all gonna change. I asked him who will take the baby to therapy and take care of his special needs he said he will but he never has before. My parents live here in GA also and are my support system in helping raise my kids always have been he has no family here can he really take my kids from me?

Does he stand a chance even though I have had some depression issues. We have fought like evry other couple but he says hes gonna tell the judge I am aggressive and emotionally unstable. He is really looking to fight and I just want whats best for my kids. I need help please. He is scaring me with his threats

[rosered]

Oh honey…my XH pulled the same stunts your H is pulling. I didn’t have any depression issues…so he threatened me with convincing the courts that I was over involved, too protective, breast fed too long, etc. He demanded 50/50 custody - when I wouldn’t agree he filed for primary custody. My attorney told me from the get go that my XH was a bully who was simply trying to get out of the marriage with his money, that he was trying to create anger

[Xavier]

The first rule when getting divorced is this:Don’t believe a thing your stbx says.He will try to get you to agree to 50/50 custody so that he doesn’t have to pay (as much) child support. So he says he will try for full custody in order to get you to settle for 50/50. And you know darn well that once court is over, he will try to dump the kids on you during his time anyway.Here are the facts. First of all, the judge will give zero (none, zilch, nada) weight to what your stbx says about you. The are not interested in he said, she said. Proving a parent to be unfit takes outside evidence such as DUIs, arrests, medical reports, and so on. Second, what the judge wants is what is in the best interest of the child and if the current situation is good, they want to keep it as close to that as possible. Same primary caregiver, same house, same schedule.So now, to go along with don’t listen to the ex I will add don’t negotiate with the ex. If he wants to know what you plan to do, say I’m not sure. We’ll see. Don’t go telling him everything your lawyer tells you, or stuff you read here. That will make him think he has to go through with some of the stuff (like the job change) that he’s threatening. Better to let him think you are considering your options as long as possible, and then file as soon as you can.

[willgetthroughthis]

Two words: NOHe will not get the children you have been their main caregiver for their entire lives. He is trying to make you unstable. If he tried to get a new job where he is making a lot less he should have to still pay on his potential income. If GA has legal seperation do it now. Also apply for public assistance and childcare assistance, since you are going to have to work or go back to school (if you don’t have a degree) the court will see that you are trying to get on your own two feet. Sister the way I see it he doesn’t stand a chance. The Lord will carry you through. We are here for you : )

[Shale]

I escaped a similar situation except my ex husband was also physically abusive. I won’t get into it here I could write a book on the past 10 years of my life since meeting him and it would take several pages just to even give the condensed form. I will say my advice to you would be to do your best to protect yourself. As long as you are safe and he isn’t physically hurting you…I would try to stay as long as you can so you can get all your ducks in a row. Get some money saved up, plan a place you can live at and hire a lawyer before you leave him. Trust me things could be a lot worse after if you’re not prepared. I have depression and anxiety and my ex used it against me in court. You can’t trust this man he sounds narcissistic. I wouldn’t ever tell him anything personal again. I know how miserable it is living with someone like this but if I had of known how hard it was after I might have planned my escape differently. Find someone to help you leave if you have to. Keep everything and maybe get a trusted friend to hang onto important documents you may need for court in case he hacks your email etc. There are transition homes but if you have family you can go stay with it looks better in court to have their support when it comes to the children. Ask for their help and don’t leave their house even if they are being crazy too…this was a mistake I made. Just stick it out until the divorce is over. If you do go anywhere or have issues with family or friends…do your best not to ever let him find out because he will use that against you as well. Luckily I’ve had good friends to back me up but my parents were not supportive to me at all. It would have helped a great deal. My ex husband and I now share custody and to avoid any more court and a lengthy trial I agreed to let my son live there since he’s remarried. I know at least he has a nice wife and my son seems to like her. I plan on moving back to the town we are from to be close to my child again soon. It’s been a living hell and I have a whole new respect and empathy for men who have lost their children in divorce as I know it happens more than with women. I didn’t lose my son and I still have 2 kids that live with me full time. But the lengths my ex went to to try to prove I was an unfit parent were unreal. Nothing worked and now finally it feels like things are starting to improve. I wish you the best of luck and I wish you all the strength to get through this terrible situation. If you can stay with him and live with how things are it might be better until your children are a bit older. If you have to get counselling and find friends to take you out of the situation at times to get your mind off him being mean I would just do that for now. Hope everything works out.