So sorry for what you went through. I went through a very similar situation back in 2017. Can't believe how time flies. My youngest is almost 4 years old!!
God is great. Just want to reassures everyone that I was broken in 2017, 2018 started healing set up my hairdressing business, started contracting as a HR Manager and now I've launched another business selling Pixie Wigs.
My two sons aged 11 and almost 4 now are doing great. Time is the biggest healer and through the pain you went through God will give you the strength and resilience. Nobody will think I went through what I went through, because of the Grace and joy on my face.