Thanks for sharing this. I'm going through something similar.
We were HS sweethearts, only man I've ever been intimate with, met each other in middle school...were together 7 years, married. Problem is he never wanted to grow up. He was a pot head, we lived in the studio behind his mom's house, he refused to get a full-time job...his family messed me up too. His mom ran my credit without permission and tricked me into using my first time homebuyers to get her house for a cheap down payment. She told me her realtor friend told her I could reinstate my first time homebuyers if I removed myself from the deed for 6 months (this is a lie. Now I'll never have the first time Home buyer again. She also illegally claimed our first time homebuyers tax credit).
When I found out I was pregnant, my husband got scared and made me really doubt him. But he came to his senses (or so I thought) and apologized for reacting poorly to the news and said he was just taken off guard and had bought the baby some cute bibs and mittens. So I thought all was good.
He started abusing crystal meth and abandoning me, leaving me alone at night to stay out long hours and party. I felt so neglected and unloved. I kept trying to talk to him but he always got defensive.
When I found out he was using he kept promising to quit, but kept relapsing. I threatened to leave him, to take full custody of our daughter, etc. He kept saying all the right things to rope me back in, but never followed through on his actions.
The time came to where I told him I was moving back in with my parents, and that this was a trial separation and to get his crap together.
I found out like two weeks later his sister and brother had found him with two naked women in our bedroom and they had all been smoking meth. I went and got my stuff, he was kicked out by his mother and living on the streets.
I was furious at him for hurting me, especially being pregnant. But I'm a forgiving person by nature and was so worried when he was out on the streets. I could hardly eat or sleep.
He finally ended up at his aunt's and promised to get clean. I decided (being 9 months pregnant at the time) I would put my anger aside for the time being and help the father of my child get clean in time for the birth of our baby.
He did (or so I thought) but his family was furious at me for "taking him back" (for the record, I didn't. He saved my life once and I felt I owed it to him to try and do everything in my power to try and help him set his life straight - plus I felt I owed it to my daughter as well to try to help her father). His sister told me they blamed me for his drug usage and what a terrible wife I was to not realize how long he'd had this problem (he was never home and we were off and on for several months, so if anyone should've noticed, it was them).
She threatened me and made me fear for my safety and that of my unborn baby's (making it clear she wanted to hurt me) and they illegally forced me out of the house even though I'm on the deed and they changed the locks and wouldn't let me get my stuff.
Eventually the mom let me move back in, but it was only a couple weeks. I felt uncomfortable there for obvious reasons. So when our baby was born I moved back in with my parents but I was back and forth.
His mom told me he was using again and to not bring the baby around for awhile. The next day he demanded visitation and I told him I thought he was using (he denied it of course) and I didn't feel comfortable with him taking her without supervision. So I went along with verbal consent from his mother, and I was soon attacked by both of his sisters in front of my baby, and my baby got so scared she was crying.
I couldn't even call the cops on them because my husband threatened that if I did, he would lie and say I started the fight (not true).
Here we are four months after my baby's birth. He's still using after I thought he finally got clean. He showed up to my parent's house high and he was driving high...so I called the cops and made it clear I didn't want him arrested but admitted to the hospital and put on a 72 hour hold. Well they released him and he's threatened to kill me twice and showed up to my parent's house banging on the door violently and screaming he was going to kill me.
I haven't heard from him in two weeks but I think his mom took him to Tijuana to hide. And now his mom is suing me for $25k and lawyers fees, saying I never paid her rent the 2 years I lived with them (I paid her every time and on time each month) and that I refused to sign a quit claim to get my name off the deed even though I'm not living there (I didn't refuse...I told them to fax me the documents and my lawyer and I would look them over before signing. They never sent them. And I didn't live there for obvious reasons - they violently forced me out twice).
And they destroyed $1k worth of my clothes and lost my text books for school along with video games my brother and I grew up playing, and a pregnancy journal with memories I can never replace. I have no idea why his family turned on me so badly but it breaks my heart because I thought I was doing the right thing trying to stand by my husband and help him through a time of crisis.
And recently I finally stood up for myself and I got into it with his mom, in which I commented she never tries to see her only grandchild, to which she smirked and commented, "there will be more" - like it didn't matter...because she hates me, she doesn't care about a relationship with my daughter - her own flesh and blood.
Feel free to message me - so sorry for what you went through. No one deserves to be discarded like that, especially when you're carrying the man in question's child. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.