How To Introduce Your New Boyfriend To The Kids

One lesson you must learn is: Don’t introduce your children to your new boyfriend too quickly. If your new boyfriend has children you may be tempted to bring your children together, especially if finding a sitter is a problem. The danger is that if you break up, your kids and his might become confused. They will still want to be friends, not understanding that their parents no longer date. Imagine making a new friend and not being able to play with that friend because your parents do not get along. That can be devastating to a child.

Another potential problem is the attachment your children might develop to your boyfriend. If things don’t work out, then the kids are left feeling abandoned by an adult they may have learned to love. As you enter into other relationships, their confusion will be compounded. If they have a troubled relationship with their father and are now looking to your boyfriend as a father figure, a break up can be emotionally scarring. It might be best to wait before your new boyfriend meets your kids. That way you can slowly introduce him into their lives.

Keeping your boyfriend distant from your children may be tough, but you must think of their feelings. Kids want mom and dad together. They are often traumatized by the divorce, and they may embrace or repel newcomers too quickly. Take it slow; it will save a lot of heartbreak.

My exhusband was sleeping with a girl 3 weeks after he moved out of my condo. Now he is with he and expects me and my kids to be accepting of her. I don’t want any part of the tart and quite frankly I think it would be very confusing for my kids to accept.

That’s great advice! I just wish my ex would have taken that advice with regards to his new girlfriend. He introduced our boys to the new girlfriend right after our divorce and she wasn’t even divorced yet from her husband. He also told them on the same day he introduced her that she is now living with him, and I found out later that’s due to the fact that she walked out on her two kids ages 14 (son) and 6 (girl), and left them for me ex–stupid move on her part–because he’s a loser. Anyways, I just wish he would have taken that advice, because now my 9 yr old son is having problems at school with anger, frustration, and being very irritable, and they are recommending that he go to counseling to get thru this, because he’s having a hard time dealing with it and understanding everything. Of course my ex doesn’t take any blame to this, he just said that our son was having problems before all this–that’s so he can take the blame off of him. So I hope everyone out there takes your advice and please put your kids first, not your new love, because that person may not be there for very long, but your kids will be always be there!

What do you do when you have a teenager.My son is 17, and I am not sure how to introduce male friends to him.How can I expect him to abstain, if I bring home someone that spends the night?I just can’t keep staying away from home for my own personal needs. But like it or not I do have them and need to figure out how to bring it home.