How to Cope with his affair and her having a baby!

I am currently going through the same thing. My husband and I’ve been married for 6 months, we’ve been knowing each other for 3 years. Hey went to prison last April and we decided to get married and to come to find out. I had a random Inbox from a female, stating congratulations, let your husband know he is a dad, so I did speak with my husband about the situation, and he in fact, said that he did sleep with her but not for sure, if the baby is his now it’s a whole big thing where she is sending DNA testing to the prison where he is so he can be able to take the test. My husband denied the DNA and basically saying that he doesn’t want to take the test and of it comes back his he said that he’s not being involved what so ever. I’ve been having hard time with this. It really hurts. We don’t have any children together and planned for it when he gets home, now I’m all over the place. Don’t know what to do

Finding peace, I can’t figued out how to private message you but I would love to speak with you. My situation is similar and I need someone to tell me I’m not crazy.

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I don’t know if you will see this, but I’m very hopeful to get to talk to you. Our situations are extremely similar. My husband’s child is due at the end of the month, and I’m so scared. I really would love someone to talk to!

Hi findingpeace,

I am in an almost identical situation you are in, yet we aren’t married yet. I’m almost 2 years out from discovery. We don’t have any children i have the same fears/feelings you do. I tried to pm you but I’m new and couldn’t figure out how to do it. I have yet to find someone in my situation to talk to and vent with. I’d love to chat and have someone to chat and talk to who understands. Pm me if you’d like to talk. Thank you!

Hey there! Sorry for the late reply. There is a facebook group called Safe Haven for Love. There are so many women out there who are going through the same pain as us. I would join that group of you can.

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Hi NurseDez. I would recommend joining the Facebook group called Safe Haven for Love. It really helped me have a safe place to vent and talk about my feelings with other women who are dealing with the same thing.

Hi Hurtmo! I recommend joining Safe Haven for Love on facebook. It really helped me. I tried to PM you but I can’t figure out how.

I feel the same way.

Hey I’m going through the same thing , How are things going for you ?

How are you doing ?

Findingpeace19
Thank you so much for your message. I too love Jesus Christ and he is sustaining me through my divorce from my cheating husband that had a baby with a woman his daughters age (he’s 54). It’s been SO HARD. We were married for 12 years and he chose his mistress over me. Some days I can cope, other days I cannot. I pray so much to keep from falling into a deep depression. Last week while shopping, I saw her! I used to work at the same job as she, and that’s where my husband met her. I don’t think she realizes exactly who I am though, but it doesn’t matter… it was sheer disrespect. I had to go back to my car and pray because all I wanted to do was beat her face in. This is the hardest of all! Having to cope with the hate and disdain. I feel sorry for the baby, but I am hating the parents. He has left me with a house to maintain and I’m struggling badly with bills on my salary. It’s been so rough, that some days I just want to give up and just die. But the wonderful side to this wretched situation is that I have grown so much closer and I just depend on Jesus Christ. It may not be a solution to others, but He’s amazing at keeping me! I came to this site because I needed the support as well because I’m going through this alone, and have no one to talk to that have had the same experiences and pain. Only the women on this site can relate, and I don’t feel as alone in these struggles. So, I would be happy to stay in touch with you. And I am a prayer warrior and will definitely pray for you. Maybe we can just pray together.

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That’s sad for your daughter, I’m not the other woman, but the one that got played and in my situation she purposely did it to set him up as soon as he got our of jail and is keeping her pregnancy from everyone him included. So I apologize for you being in this spot, I keep trying to rationalize for her, but with your situation it seems like your just as played as the wife was and its sad, that your offering the child and he doesn’t jump for it. . These situations are perfect examples of why it can be bad on both sides. I haven’t decided if I’m leaving or not. I think pride holds me here because she was my friend, either way dont stress him or his wife, focus on you and your baby. He ultimately made the bed he’s gotta lay in just focus on your baby , I hope it gets easier.

Hello, I am going through the exact same situation. My husband and I have been together for 12 years and married for almost 5. He cheated and got someone pregnant who we both went to highschool with. She was very much aware of me and our marriage. I constantly found communication between the two of them which almost never stopped. I discovered she was pregnant because he told his best friend over Facebook messenger (what and idiot). I confronted him immediately and of course he lied. We have been trying to have a child of our own for years but he got her pregnant right away. I feel as if it was planned to move me out of the picture. He claims that he really needed a son for his legacy smh. The baby was born in July of 2019 and he never told me about him being born. He lied about where he was going for about a week, he was going to the hospital the entire time to see him. We finally had a talk and I agreed to accept the child. I have even been over to her house with him to drop off pampers and milk ( I stayed in the car) I actually feel very stupid for dealing with this. I want a baby of my own and this was the ultimate betrayal. How can I get over this? I feel as if it consumes my every thought. I dont trust him but I love him very much. I just want to know why he did this to me. Men really suck I swear…sorry to all you ladies that had to go through this. Im really needing some encouragement.

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This is my testimony about the marvelous work priest manuka did for me. My wife abandon me and the kids and went to stay with her ex boyfriend after we got married. And he did spell on her so that she will never have nothing to do with me and my kids for that, my kids has been suffering and it has been heel of a struggle without mother care for them, but I decide to do all means to make sure that my family come together as it use to, then I went on-line there I saw so many good talk about this marriage reunion spell caster. on his email so I had to contact him and explain my problem to him and in just 5 days as he has promised, my wife came home and her behavior was back to the woman i got married to. I cant thank priest manuka enough for what he did for me, i am so grateful and i will never stop to publish his name on the internet for the good work he has done for me,once again here is his email:: lovesolutiontemple1@gmail.com You can contact him for any kind of problem i know he is there to help out.

Hello,

I hope you’re doing okay, as much as you can. I have a similar situation, but I’d rather address yours first. That’s horrible, honestly. Not only did he not tell you about his cheating, but he kept the child a secret. That’s not right. I can’t even imagine, considering he not only lied about his cheating, but the outcome as well. I don’t understand why people don’t care about repercussions. Did no one pay attention in sex ed? Lol. (Just to lighten the horrible situation.)

How far away do you two live from her? How often do you go over, even if you’re outside in the car? That’s absolutely disgusting to me; that you’re wanting to create a life out of your love for your husband, and he created a life with someone else. How do you feel about the b****? How do you feel about the child? By “accepting the child”, how do you really feel?

I honestly have never had so much hate and disgust for another human in my entire life (the b****). I feel like such an ugly and horrible person for feeling this way. Have you seen him with the baby yet? Does your family know? Does his?

Sorry for all of the questions. I just want to vent too, and with our unfortunate similarities of our lives, I wish I had someone to talk to about my unfortunate situation as well…

Best wishes XX

I’ve been with my bf for 5 years, everything was fine, in November he told me he cheated on me in march, he created a plenty of fish account so he could have a ‘fling’ as he calls it. He met with her and slept with her a few this, this went on for a few weeks. She is now pregnant and is due given birth this friday. I know he regrets what he’s done and still wants to be with me but it’s a 99% chance this is his baby unless the woman he slept with had affairs with other men the same time they slept together. I just dont know what to do, my heads all over the place and my family know about it aswell as I told them. I love him so much but if I stuck around then I know I’d eventually have to meet this woman and I just dont think I could face that. He still wants to be with me but I always thought the first baby he had would be with me. How do I walk away or how to deal with this situation. Any help or advice is much needed. Also they will be getting a DNA test as soon they can to find out if its definitely his baby.

I can relate. I just found out on New Year’s Day that my boyfriend of 5 years got someone pregnant. I love him so much and don’t know what to do. This will be his 2nd child by 2 different women. We don’t have any together. I have one by another guy before we got together. I turn 30 next month and was going to give him a child because he had been asking me. I have been calling him still and going around him. I haven’t slept or can barely eat since he told me on New Year’s Day. Can’t stop crying. I still feel like I want to have his child. He says he doesn’t want anything to do with the child or the mother but I don’t believe him. I feel like once he sees the child he’s going to feel different. I’ve already told him that I will not support his decision If he decides to change his mind bc I know it’s going to hurt so bad. I just feel so betrayed. How can someone you barely know come in and have your child vs. someone that has been through everything with you for the last 5 years. I’ve been stalking her Facebook trying to keep up with her which I know that’s not helping me to heal but I can’t help it. She posted a video of her belly the other day and it just broke me down some more. Idk what to do.

Hi sorry you going threw this I’m going threw the samething I been with my kids father since I was 15 we are now 30 our kids is 13 and 11 and I held him down in jail for 3years no help from his mother or nobody not that I cared but long story short he just had a baby with this chick he lied her whole pregnancy saying it wasn’t his baby tried to go behind my back and I asked her could we talked she laughed at me cuz he had been with her and her baby so I got in touch with her friends for them to tell me he wasn’t there for here threw her whole pregnancy he tried to pay for an abortion he told her he wasn’t gone be there for her baby and she still had the baby so back to him been with her for a couple days now he comes back begging to come home she comes calling crying telling me the samething her friends told me and I’m like why did you have a baby by somebody who’s telling you they don’t want you and that he’s in love with another woman and want his family and that he ain’t gone take care of your baby just to prove a point to the other woman how ever it hurts I don’t think I can be with him cuz I just keep thinking bout how he could have gave me aids I’m telling you this is a hard pill to swallow I don’t know if I can forgive him cuz I don’t trust him at all he tells me everyday he not dealing with her or her baby at all I don’t feel like it’s my place to encourage him cuz I feel like I was innocent in this situation too she knew just like he knew I really to be like this about a child but this hurt my kids and you say your son is 17 that’s going to hurt him so bad and it’s going to hurt him so bad if yal break up my daughter so use to sleeping with us she cries sometimes for him and it’s sad cuz that makes me even more coldhearted about the situation cuz it hurts my kids that I really don’t wanna deal with it

It’s been a while since you posted it, but I’m in the same situation and I need someone to talk to as well.

Can you help me out ?