My husband cheated about 8 months after we were married. I didn’t find out until the baby was already two months old. When he told me, he was ready to end the marriage possibly foreseeing what I couldn’t at the time. We stayed together and I tried very very hard to save our marriage. At first his child was a secret so it was easy to act like she didn’t exist, but with time he told his family and I told mine. I was incredibly embarrassed but i stood by him. I ensured a DNA test was done, and when it came back it was his, I did the right thing and told him he needed to be responsible for his child. I put the best interest of that child ahead of my own and years later I am paying the consequences. You will never forget his infidelity; every time he speaks to the other woman, you will wonder if there is something more and drive your self crazy; you will never trust him the same again; no matter how GOOD of a person you are, you will at some point resent the child because it keeps your husband and the other woman bound for life; you will check his phone any time you can; your money will go to supporting this child YOU had no choice in bringing to this world... I could go on and on. I tried almost 5 years and even attempted being her “friend” so that she would contact me instead of him, but she didn’t stop, and my mind got the best of me. It’s your choice if you want to give it a try, but know that it will be a difficult journey and for it to work and NOT cause you more heartache, there has to be completel transparency between you and your husband. I got to the point where I was done living in fear that he would cheat again, I was done having to be reminded of being cheated on, I was done feeling insecure about myself; questioning where I had failed. But I didn’t, he did. I was done being angry at the other woman and finally got angry at my husband, because even though he didn’t choose to have this child, he still had intercourse with another woman, unprotected and didn’t care how it would affect me emotionally and potentially physically if she had some type of disease. It took me 4 years for this to click in my head... so take YOUR time and do what is best for YOU. Leaving him will be hard, maybe the hardest thing you’ll have to do, but your true happiness is worth it. I love my husband still, and possibly always will, but I want a better life for myself.
