I am at the point where it all is just pointless! I am looking at the issue with my wife from all angles trying to understand her. She will never initiate, but tells me we can have sex whenever I want. Most of the time that starts with a question, "How quick can you be?" I have never been one to enjoy just taking care of myself. I love the foreplay and tending to her needs. Of course the occasional quickie is nice, but that shouldn't be the norm.
As a man that works and takes care of his family, does most of the cooking, spends time with his kids, and treats his wife special, it would be nice to be desired once in a while. Marriage has turned into exactly what I thought it was. A show! Let's pretend that all is great, when in actuality it is horrible. I have never been more sad in my entire life. I have approached her several times about it and here we are. She says that she loves sex and I laugh. She will admit that she prioritizes several other things over it. I could work my full time all day and go to my business all night, but walk in late and see her in certain clothing and I'm ready to go.
Now I have been transformed into some type of deviant! I look at every girl and woman imagining them in bed. She talks about us retiring together and all I can think about is getting out. I always said I would never stay for the kids, but now I'm staying for the kids while I plot my escape. So sad. My last words for her were that she shouldn't do anything she doesn't want to. Everyone has the right to be happy with their choices in life without pressure from others including your husband.