Honestly, I feel your pain, cuz I lived that pain with my husband in our home for the last ten years. I knew he changed ten years ago....would jerk away whenever I tried to touch him down below, stopped wanting to be alone with me, all of a sudden going down on me was something he never really liked......and year by year it broke my heart more and more. I was in shock for most of those ten years, cuz the prior ten to twelve years was a love I've never felt before. People were envious, jealous even. We were like honeymooners after the first 10 to 15 years. Then slowly he changed. Little red flags here and there. And let me tell you something, you dont know how lucky u are that she let u go when she no longer felt the same way. My husband stayed with me for our four year old daughter, cuz he was too cheap to pay alimony or child support. So keeping me home, as basically his babysitter, while leaving for work at 3 am and coming home at 8 to 10pm....well, u get the picture. I've cried, I felt like dieing so many times, and of course he denies it and calls me needy and jealous to our friends and family. Mind you, I never had a jealous bone in my body. It's to the point today that he sleeps in a different bedroom, sneaks his girlfriend in my house, we have a big house, continues to lie to me about everything, never puts me first, throws me under the bus every chance he gets, but keeps me here cuz he knows how to say..."I love you", "there is nobody else", I dont remember", "you took that wrong", "you take everything I say and make it how u want it", you hear things cuz you want to be right!"....and I could go on and on. So now I cant tell you how much I hate this person I married! He dont want a divorce, and why would he. But I do! I'm slowly building myself up by listening to motivational speakers on love and relationships. I'm still a long way from the strong confident, amazingly beautiful woman I once was, and somehow I dont think I'll ever be that innocent again. But I'm still me. Someday I'll trust men again and open my heart fir another try at this love game. And I know I'll be a lot more cautious with whom I allow into my life and heart space, cuz the man messed with my mind mentally, my body physically, and then turned almost everybody I know, including family, against me. Nobody believes me when I tell them what he does to me. And he goes around playing victim, how he cant take this anymore, and all I do is yell at him everyday and accuse him of cheating!! Cuz nobody I know would sneak their girlfriend into the house while their wife is home with their child. Because he love me alot at one time, his story about me is more believable then my truth about him and his girlfriend. I've got so much on tape and he scopes out house and even gets devices to detect hidden cameras etc. So the only proof I've got is when I get them on audio. I do have her coming out of our hall closet by the front door, then going back in real quick like, so not too clear, but definately can see somebody popped out and back in just as fast. Even my daughter seen it, but yet nobody believes me. Got them on audio in the bathroom pounding each other on the toilet seat, could here them clearly! Even had the broken seat to prove it, but my son said it sounded like he was taking a dump! It's like I give up!!! Starting to think it's me, plus found out his family is deep into black magic, I guess long story shorter, count your blessing. So I feel your pain, which will day by day slowly get better. It does, trust me. And fir everyone else, get out as soon as u know somebody is not how they used to be. The pain is unbearable, but eventually gets better. It never gets better if you think they'll get their act together soon or your live was so great, they'll have to realize soon, or any other excuse we humans can muster up to make our hearts feel better. But all that does is prolong it painfully, crying your eyes out everyday, as u watch the man or woman u loved so strongly just yesterday, becoming so hurtful and mean and eyed you once seen looking at you with so much live and devotion, can now only look upon you in a cold hollow glance, as if you were nobody! And soon, that's exactly what u start to feel like...like a nobody. Why live any longer. I have nobody, and people at my age are passing away, who I had strong friendly bonds with. Everyone else you dont wanna see cuz you dont feel the same about yourself, dont even look the same way anymore! All those laugh lines u once thought would become wrinkles, cute wrinkles, are gone. Nothing left but sunken in eyes starting to sag from the tears that flow whenever you think of what happened or the memories that made you fall so much for someone who just threw you away one day like u were nothing! Please, take my word for it ehen I say count your many blessings. I see her as a good woman who didnt keep breadcrumbing you for her benefit. Love dies. We're all on borrowed time. That's what I used to tell my husband. And if it should and most likely it will happen to us, at least tell each other first. Nothing more cruel then deception and making a joke out of the love two people once had.
And just like that, one day your gonna think of your ex wife and say wow, I cant believe the whole day went by, and I never thought of her till now. That's when you'll see the sun shine again and know your living again. As for me, I'm planning my divorce strategy now. My heart is no longer innocent and I've seen how mean people can really be. But I've also learned a deep lesson on lies and gullibility! So next time I'll be stronger and wiser and most importantly, I've learned love only exists in that moment, not in a lifetime. Hope this help. Always makes me feel better hearing how much worse somebody else has got it!!!